Trapped//One Direction// Harry's Little Sister

Bite Me

I went to sleep later that night, skipping dinner once more. 

-next morning-

I awoke this morning and chose my outfit of a sparkly tank top,my skinnies, my black studded jacket and my studded boots. I turned on Pandora and  put my phone on my docking station. My favorite song came on and i blasted it as loud as it would go.

Lyrics: Mansion by NF feat. Fleurie

Insidious is blind inception
What's reality with all these questions?
Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in)

Broken legs but I chase perfection
These walls are my blank expression
My mind is a home I'm trapped in
And it's only inside this mansion

Yo my mind is a house with walls covered in lyrics
Threw all over the place, and songs in the mirrors
I's written all over the floors, all over the chairs
You get the uncut version of life and I go downstairs
That's where I write when I'm in a bad place I need to release
And let out the version of NF you don't want to see
I put holes in the walls with both of my fists 'til they bleed
You might get a glimpse of how I cope with all this anger in me
Physically abused, now that's the room I don't want to be in
That picture ain't blurry at all, I just don't want to see it
And these walls ain't gray, I just think I don't want to see 'em
But why not? I'm in here, so I might as well read 'em

I gotta thank you for this anger that I carry around
Wish I could take a match and burn this whole room to the ground
Matter of fact I think Imma burn this room right now
So now this memory for some reason just moved you down
You pull me in the corner, so you can see the fear in my eyes
Then took me downstairs and beat me 'til I screamed and I cried
Congratulations
You'll always have a room in my mind
But Imma keep the door shut and locked the lyrics inside

[Chorus]


Yo my mind is a house with walls covered in pain
See my problem is I don't fix things
I just try to repaint, cover em up, like it never happen
Say I wish I could change. Are you confused?
Come upstairs and I show you what I mean
This room's full of regrets, just keeps getting fuller of it seems (?)
The moment I walk into is the same moment that I wanna leave
I get sick to my stomach everytime I look at these things
But it's hard to look past when this is the room where I sleep
I look around. One of the worst things I wrote on these walls
Was the moment I realized that I was losing my mom
And one of the first things I wrote was I was shot with a call (?)
But I should just stop now, we ain't got enough room in this soul
And I regret the fact that I struggle trying to find who I am
And I lie to myself and say I do the best that I can
Shrug it off like it ain't nothing like inside of my head
Then get ticked off [?] whenever I see it affecting my plans
And I regret watching these trust-issues eat me alive
And at the weight I'm going you probably still be there when I die
Congratulations
You'll always have a room in my mind
The question is: Will I ever clean the walls off inside

[Chorus]

So this room of my house, no one's been in it for years
I built the safe room in, I won't let no one in there
'Cause if I do, there's a chance
That they might disappear and not come back
And I admit I am emotionally scared to let anyone inside
So I just leave my doors locked
You might get other doors to open up but this doors not
'cause I don't want you to have the opportunity to hurt me
And I'll be the only person that I can blame when you desert me
I'm barricaded inside
So stop watching
I'm not coming to the door
So stop knocking, stop knocking
I'm trapped here
God keep saying I'm not locked in
I chose this
I am lost in my own conscious
I know that shutting the wall down ain't solving the problem
But I didn't built this house because I thought it would solve 'em
I built it because I thought that it would be safer in there
But it's not
I'm not the only thing that's living in here
Fear came to my house years ago I let 'em in
Maybe that's the problem
'cause I've been dealing with this ever since
I thought that he would leave, but it's obvious he never did
He must have picked the room and got comfortable and settled in
Now I'm in the position it's either sit here and let him win
Or put him back outside where he came from, but I never can
'cause in order to do that I'd have to open the doors

Is that me or the fear talking?
I don't know anymore

I was dancing around and singing the song in my spankie shorts and sports bra. I used my toothbrush as a microphone. i heard chuckling and looked to my door. Harry, Zayn,Niall, Louis,and Liam were at my door watching me.

"Nice dancing little sis." Harry cheered.

"Get out of my room. Did my message not come across as clear last night when I told you I hated you? Or do I need to explain it again?" I scowled at Harry. When he didn't move I approached him. He really underestimated my power. i kneed him in the gut and pushed him out into the hallway. The other boys all had a look of anger. I slammed my door shut and got on my clothes. I saw Shane had his windows open. i threw a rock at his window and he looked at me. He laughed and i didn't know why. he grabbed the notepad that we use to write on to talk to each other.  He wrote down: LOOK BEHIND YOU! I looked behind me and saw the five boys had broken down my door. My music was turned off. I would be lying if i said i wasn't scared.

"Why do you hate Harry so much?"Niall asked.

I scoffed;"Harry isnt the only one i hate. I hate all of you. I grew up these past years with out my brother. Its all your fault! You took the one person I loved and cared about away. Why do i fight? I feel free when I fight. I don't worry about having another panic attack-" I cut myself off. I just told them my worst secret. Only Shane knew about my panic attacks. All the boys had worried expressions on their faces.

"Get out."

"Rae dont shut me out."

"Don't shut you out! Harry you shut me out. I thought you were embarrassed of me! i thought you didn't want anyone to know you had a little sister! I thought you wanted me dead! I guess I thought right. Maybe i should leave. you don't need me anyway. You pushed me away. You hurt me. Harry, you hurt me. I have never been more heartbroken than when you left. I was happy. I was finally happy. And thenyou came back. Now i feel hurt. I'm lost. I'm done telling everyone im fine.Truth is Harry, Im hurt. And its all your fault." Harry looked horrified. He looked sorry. Good.

Dont give in Rae. Stay strong. Dont give in. Every second i looked at Harrys face, I gave in more and more. I caved in and ran to my big brother. I wrapped my arms around his neck. i wrapped my legs around his torso. We held on to each other like we were dying. Our heads buried into each others necks as broken sobs escaped our mouths. Neither of us wanted to let go.

"Please Rae, give me one chance to prove myself."

"Dont ruin it Harry." Harry spun me in circles. He better not screw it up.

i pull away from the hug and look at my phone. Im late for school!

"I gottta go! I have school."

"Rae you do realize its Saturday right?" Niall says.

"Oh. I have work then."

"Where do you work.?" Harry asked.

"Trust me you dont want to know what i do. And no im not gonna tell you. But get out, i have to change."The boys left and i changed into black yoga capris and a work out shirt that says, BITE ME AND GET OVER IT. I grabbed my sneakers and gym bag and ran outside. i grabbed the keys tat were on the counter. i got out and tried to put them into my bike but they didnt fit. I realized it had a button for sound. I clicked it and it showed Harrys black Escalade. Nice. I didnt have time to find my keys so i yelled to Harry.

"Harry Im taking your car!"

"No my baby! Can you even drive a car?"

"No but i can learn!" i closed the door and got in th car. Of course i know how to drive a car. I just wanted to make Harry worry. I got to work and took my boxing gloves out of my bag that was beside me.

I went into the gym and saw my bag was already attached and ready for me. I looked to see my boss, Dwayne Johnson. I nodded my head towards and he approached me.

"You still up for tonight?"

"Since when have i ever turned down a fight?"

"Be safe please. Your my best fighter and i cant have you get hurt."

"Yes Tats." He only lets me call him Tats. I used to call him Tattoo man. I was to stubborn to use the same name as everyone else.

"Whos that?" He nodded his head behind me. I turned around and took in a sharp breath.

A.N. ohh cliffhanger. ill update soon. im grounded right now. oops. who do you think is behind her? COMMENT. THANK YOU FOR READING