Meant For Me ❀ Narcel

❀I Just Wanna Run❀

M.S.

Everyday at school was the same.

I'd get shoved in the hall. I'd get my glasses grabbed off my face. Someone would force me into a locker and even threaten to close it on me. I would get pushed to the ground. I'd get called names like "nerd" "four-eyes" and the one I hated the most was "Marcie". My name was Marcel, not Marcie. It wasn't a nickname at all.

You'd think the school would do something about these bullies, right? There's so many anti-bullying campaigns going on at my school but they ain't doing shit. My teachers won't stop my bullies or they just look away. The school counselor is shit as his job and forgets everything I ever tell him, but if a girl goes in there and says she's being bullied, he goes above and beyond to help stop the bullying.

Why was my bullying different than hers? Was it because she wasn't getting her head shoved in the toilet? Was it because she wasn't getting her glasses stepped on or broke? No. It's because I was an outcast and to make matters worse, I was a nerd as well. I was honestly the smartest person in my class, but no one gave a shit. My teachers wouldn't even congratulate me on my good grades; not that I'm looking for attention. It's just, it really sucks when you think the authority figure you're supposed to go to when something bad happens, does absolutely nothing to help you.

My home life wasn't that great either. My mum left when I was five; leaving my dad a single father of two. He has absolutely no idea what he was doing especially when my sister hit her rebellious teenage years. Me on the other hand, it was like I didn't exist. My dad and my sister were always screaming at each other; no matter the time of the day. He'd threaten to take her phone away and she'd threaten that she'd run away. Any time I would try to bring up my accomplishments in school, I'd get scolded for making everything about me. So I've just learned to stop speaking at meals. I've just learned to get my food and lock myself away in my room; the only place I felt safe.

I try to avoid the bullies at school, but it's hard when they are always at my locker waiting for me. So I then decided that I would take pretty much all my school books home with me at night so that I wouldn't have to go to my locker in the morning. Not only was that bad on my back, it was a bad idea. The bullies would see my obviously bigger than normal backpack and lift it up in the air, only to let it go from their hands; making me drop to the floor with it.

I will never understand why no one has ever stopped them from doing this to me. I've always thought about running away, but no one would care. That's what I honestly think. My dad would see it as one less mouth to feed. My school would see it as one less person to teach. And my bullies? Well, if I ran away, I'd be letting them win and I didn't want that to happen. Yeah, I hated being pushed and shoved around, but no one said high school was going to be easy. No one said life was going to be easy.

"Marcel Styles?"

I looked up from my desk at the front of the classroom to see my Anatomy & Physiology teacher—Mrs. Murphy—taking attendance.

"Uh, yeah," I cleared my throat, "I-I'm here."

I adjusted my glasses on my face and took out my book for the class along with my notebook. I tried to ignore the giggles from behind me as Mrs. Murphy continued to take attendance, but I could hear them whispering my name and I don't mean Marcel.

Marcie tripped over his own feet in the hall. It was hilarious. You should've seen it.

Little four-eyes had a little malfunction at the water fountain. The whole front side of his pants were wet.

Why hasn't someone put the nerd out of his misery already? He's just a waste of space.

You'd think after years of me hearing these sort of things, I'd be immune to the blow. But no. I wasn't immune at all to them. I had no one to tell me that what they said about me isn't true. I had no one to tell me to ignore them. Sure, I tried to ignore them, but it's like their voices just got louder and louder that I just couldn't block their voices out.