Meant For Me ❀ Narcel

❀Say You Won't Let Go❀

N.H.

It was Thursday and that meant that Marcel had to go to his session after school. I know he really didn't want to go but he also knew this was good for him and of course me as well. I wanted him to get better. I didn't want to lose him.

Surprisingly, he didn't give me any trouble on going to the hospital for the session...that was until we were about to enter the building. He stopped right where he was and wouldn't move a step.

"Lovebug, come on. Please? We need to do this. I don't think I'll be able to survive another close call from you."

He shook his head quickly.

"I-I don't want to. I-I'm scared," he said, his voice wavering.

"I know you're scared, baby. I know," I rubbed at his back in little circles in hopes I would be able to calm him down. "But you know what? Once you go in there, it'll be over. You just have to talk with the doctors and tell them how you've been feeling. I will be in there with you. I won't leave your side. I promise."

I heard Marcel gulp a little before he slid his hand into mine.

"O-okay. Let's get this o-over with."

"That's the spirit, baby boy," I kissed the side of his head. "The sooner we get in there, the quicker we can get back home and cuddle. How does that sound?"

A smile slowly crept onto Marcel's lips as he nodded.

"I-I like that."

❀❀

Marcel and I were probably sitting in the doctor's office for what seemed like hours before he finally showed up. He gave us the excuse that he had just gotten out of performing a surgery and needed to get cleaned up. Part of me wanted to believe him but then another part of me thought he didn't want to be here as much as Marcel and I don't.

"Good afternoon, lads," the doctor greeted as he took a seat in his chair behind his desk where he grabbed a clipboard with a notebook on it.

We both gave him a little hello as he rolled his chair around his desk to be in front of us. I watched as he looked over Marcel a few times before clearing his throat.

"So...Marcel?" He clicked his pen a few times. "How are feeling today?"

He looked over at me and I took his hand; slowly rubbing my thumb against it. Then Marcel looked at the doctor.

"I uh...I guess I'm feeling okay..." he told him.

"Have you had any urges today? Of any kind?"

"Uh...no, sir. Not today."

"Recently?" The doctor was writing things down but he was glancing up at Marcel as he did it. "What about recently?"

I was really hoping for the answer to be no and thankfully, it was.

"Well that's really good, Marcel. I'm proud of you." He then looked at me. "You must be doing real good, Niall."

I smiled a little. It felt good to hear that, but then part of me thought that maybe this was all some sort of act. Marcel could be faking that he was feeling okay and that he hasn't had any urges and that scares the hell out of me. Sure, I've been staying on top of keeping his hands occupied with drawing or painting, but it's not like I can get a good look inside his head to know what is really going through his head. And even if I were to ask, who's to say Marcel would actually tell me the truth?