I Wish: The Dark in my Light Heart

Turning Green

(Molly's POV)

I listen to Regina and I head toward the diner.  Fear. Fear. Fear fills my brain. Fear of what Henry may say, fear of how he will react, and most of all if he reacts badly will the darkness take over.  If I let the darkness take over it will just give my mother what she wishes, then everyone will be in danger.  I don't get my mothers thinking she wants me to be evil, she wants me to be wicked but she still expects me to be her little green bean.  I don't understand her, and she doesn't understand me.  The only people who really I mean really understand me is Mr. Gold and Regina. Robin and Roland are starting to get me though.  Between Regina and Mr. Gold, Mr. Gold understands me the most since he was the Darkone before, but he didn't turn away from the darkness he let it consume him.  But Regina she was evil once, turned evil by Rumplestiltskin, but she turned away from it.  So they both even each other out, Regina has the experience of turning away from the darkness and Mr. Gold has experience being the Darkone.  Yet, Mr. Gold ended up giving up the Darkone power after Belle put herself under a sleeping curse. 

I end up walking straight to the diner without even stopping to look around at the people around me.  I take one deep breathe and I step inside.  Like when I went her this morning with my dad and brother everyone goes silent and looks at me fear in their eyes.  I try to ignore their eyes pinning to the back of my head as I look around in every booth and table there looking for Henry. They all probably think I am looking for someone who wronged me, but I am not, I'm looking for the guy I love.  I could not find Henry anywhere so I head for the back near the jukebox.  I look around near it expecting Henry looking for his favorite song Only You by  Yazoo, but I couldn't find him there either.  I walk toward the bathrooms knocking on the boys bathroom, no response.  I turn toward the kitchen but when I ask the chefs they said they haven't seen Henry all day. 

I walk over to Ruby and Granny looking around the bar as Ruby cautiously hands me a coffee and hot cocoa and I had her five dollar bill.  I walk out of the diner heading toward the phone booth to call Emma.  The phone rings once, twice, three times.

"Emma Swan speaking," I hear her say, the sound of the sea in the background.

"Hey Emma, it's Molly.  I was wondering if Henry was with you, and if you knew where he was," I say through the phone.

"No he isn't with me.  Did you check Granny's? If he isn't there he may be with Dr. Hopper or walking around town," Emma says back through the phone.

"Okay thanks, I was just wondering if I would be able to talk to him for a bit.  Bye Emma." I say hanging up the phone.

I get out of the phone book adjusting my backpack on my shoulder that I picked up at the Merry Men's camp before I went to the wishing well with Regina, Robin, and Roland.  I start heading toward Dr. Hopper's office.  I walk into the small office expecting to see Henry or someone else there but all I see is Dr. Hopper eating a sandwich. 

Dr. Hopper smiles when he sees me, "Oh, Molly. What do you need?"

I smile back at him saying, "I was wondering if Henry came in here today.  I was looking for him."

"No, he hasn't been in here today.  He doesn't have a session until next month."

My smile turns into a frown, "Oh okay, thank you."

I run out of there tear threatening to spill out if I don't see him soon.  I can already feel the darkness trying to take over as I slowly loose hope.  I haven't been with anyone for almost a hour and a half.  If the darkness takes over no one is here to help me control it, I need to find Henry soon or go find Regina or Mr. Gold.  I finish wiping the tears on my face when I reach the library where I see Henry walking down the sidewalk.  I run up to him my face showing a smile ready to tell him how I feel.  But my smile disappears when I see him holding a girls hand, the girl looking at him like he is everything in the universe.  I was too late, Henry found someone or someone found him.  Henry widens his eyes and opens his mouth to say something but my mind blocks him out. 

I feel the darkness filling my thoughts and I do not try to fight it off.  My vision begins to blur and the world begins to spin under my feet.  I feel myself loosing control of my own actions.  I can't let this happen but I let it.  Henry loves someone else, he left me for someone else.  I realize now that the voice I heard the other day talking to Henry back at the loft was her.  He was the thing he was hiding from me.  He hid her from me, if he didn't hide her from me I would still be mad but I would have been able to block the darkness out.  But now he betrayed me, didn't tell me, didn't trust me and that fills my mind.  My family not trusting me makes me turn toward the darkness. 

I let the darkness fully take over and I start to feel envy toward this girl, but not just toward her but toward other people in my past and now.  I feel envy toward Emma and Hook who defeated the darkness and that people ended up trusting them.  I feel envy toward Mr. Gold and Belle who's true love stayed strong even when Mr. Gold was the Darkone.  I even feel envy toward Regina who was able to turn away from the darkness.  And even Roland I envy who never got given up by his parents.  I feel a sharp pain on my neck.  I turn and look in the library window and see that there is a patch of green on my neck. 

 Then I remember Rumplestiltskin's words- "You're turning green dearie, envy will do that to you." 

I may be turning green and I know it's because of the envy.  But I also know that I've been holding this envy within me for a long time now, it was just a matter of time before it would show.  This was just my breaking point.  But you know what? I don't care that I am turning green! And now I know this is how me and my mother is similar; we get stuff taken from us, we have a bad life, a bad past.  Then someone gets better than we do even though we worked for it and we deserve it not them, but they get it anyway and we envy them. 

But who cares?

It feels so good being bad.