I Wish: The Dark in my Light Heart

The Candles

I take a second to think about the voices until I follow Mr. Gold back to the stables.  The oak tree to the stables is not a far walk but it is not super close either.  It is far enough so if you are at the stables you can not hear what the people are talking about when they are at the oak tree.  When I arrive back by the stable's old wooden doors I find out Snow, David, Belle, and Mr. Gold will be joining us.  I never knew Mr. Gold knew how to ride a horse, but he can.  I walk up to my horse placing a hand on his snout before getting onto his back, looping my boots on to the saddle so they do not slip.  Henry starts out ahead of me and me and my horse run to catch up with him followed by Mr. Gold, Snow, David, and Belle.  I always loved the way the wind blew my hair around while on my horse.  Racing through the trees gives me an adrenaline rush.  Finally we arrive at a small clearing with a stream where we let our horses take a break and to let us talk for a while.  I hop off my horse and tie the reins to a tree.  I walk over to where Belle, Mr. Gold and Henry sit.  I squeeze between Mr. Gold and Henry resting my head on Henry's shoulder. 

"Isn't this beautiful Molly" Henry says looking at the crystal clean stream

"Yeah it..."' I freeze before I finish the sentence because I feel something strange, even though I am not the Darkone anymore I can sense when something is wrong, actually I have always been able to.

"What's wrong Molly" Mr. Gold says reaching for my hand, I snap it away and I jump up

"Someone's here" I whisper to them

"What do you mean, someone's here" Henry asks starting to stand up

I reach for my sword "Everyone back to your horses slowly" I whisper

Everyone slowly walks to there horses.  Once Mr. Gold gets two feet in front of his horse a woman appears in a cloak, my old instincts kick in and I teleport in front of him, ripping her heart out, crushing it, her body drops to the ground then disappears.  I freeze realizing what I just did, I just killed a person without second guessing it.  I begin to back away from where her body once was and away from everyone else. Taking deep breathes, in and out. What did I just do?  I begin to breathe harder and quicker.  What did I just do? What did I just do? What did I just do? I repeat over and over in my head.

"Molly, it's okay, it was an accident" David says walking toward me slowly, with every step he takes I take a step back

"No it wasn't, I didn't even second guess what I was doing" I say backing up more

"You were protecting someone it's okay" he says again trying to calm me

"No it is not okay, it is never okay to kill someone" I say again backing up

"It's okay" he repeats

"No it's not David! The Darkone left me and it is still hard to control the darkness from getting in" I cry getting frustrated at myself and at my magic.

"We can sort this out lets just go, you saved all of our lives, if you didn't sense something we all would have been dead" David says taking a sudden halt

"I wish you were right, you just don't understand" I say before teleporting back to my room. 

They don't understand.  I don't know what is going on.  I start to pace around crying in my room.  Think, think,  think, you need to think Molly.  What happened back there?   I stop pacing when I hear foot steps coming closer to my door, actually a few pairs of footsteps.  There's a knock on the door before Emma, Regina, and Robin walks in followed by Roland. 

"What's wrong Molly" Robin asks as he and Emma walks closer to me, I back up

"I.. I.." I stutter, not wanting to say what actually happened, because then it just becomes real

"What is it Molly" Emma says trying to walk closer to me

"I can't tell you, at least not when he's here" I say pointing toward Roland

"Roland go wait outside" Regina says to Roland

"Why? I am fourteen now, I can handle a little story" Roland complains not moving from his spot

"Roland, listen to Regina" Robin says sternly

"Fine" Roland says before stomping out the door

"So what happened Molly" Regina says walking up to where Emma and Robin is standing

"I.. I.. I killed someone" I cry as I sit roughly onto the bed in my room

"Wait why? How? Who was it" Regina asks

"I don't know how, something just took over me.  She was going to kill Mr. Gold that's when it happened I don't know who it was her face was hidden.  I couldn't let him just die, but I didn't want her to die either, it was just like.." I trail off

"When you were cursed" Regina finishes my sentence

"Yeah, but I got myself out of there before I could hurt anyone else" I say adjusting my position so I am sitting on my knees. 

We talk for a few more seconds until I hear Mr. Gold's and Henry's voice from down the hall, they all leave and I am left alone, with my thoughts, only my thoughts. I look around the room at the designs on my wall that Belle once helped me paint.  I start to day dream about what life would be like if I grew up with Zelena or Robin.  Until I am snapped out of my dazes but voices, whispers, the whispers that are new but so familiar.  I call for Mr. Gold.  He comes into my room quickly.

"You're here! What's wrong" he asks urgently

"The whispers I hear them, but I do not know what they are saying" I say, they aren't powerful just annoying "What are they"

"I am trying to figure that out" Mr. Gold lies, I know when he is lying like I know when Emma is lying but I am just to tired to ask

"I will tell you if they come back.  I feel much better" I say

"Okay, goodnight Molly" Mr. Gold says before leaving

I put my night clothes on, a simple white nightgown like thing.  I bundle up under the covers and I grab for my book.  I open to a page with a dragon and a prince, why can't any of these books have a female warrior.  I finish the book quickly, being with Belle over the years taught me how to read quickly. As I put my novel back on the bedside table the candles around my room start to go out one by one until it is pitch back.  I try to scream, but someone muffles my screams with a gag.