People

Who Am I?

I lay here, unable to move. The grass is wet underneath my still body, a crowd surrounds me, saying words that I cannot apprehend.  It is as if they are speaking a different language, but they are in fact, speaking English, a language I had been speaking my whole life, why now can I not understand anything. I hear cries in the crowd that surrounds me,  a woman kneels beside my lifeless body, putting her hand on my stomach though I cannot feel her there. Her face is blurry and features of her face start to stand out; tears rolling off her plump cheek and as she blinks her eyelashes soaked with tears, her blue eyes look filled with pain, why was she like this, who is she, I feel like I should know her, a friend? her face becomes more distorted as someone pulls her backwards and the crowd starts moving backwards, where were they going, please don't go, help me, why can't I move, who am I?

I try to move again but I can't, have I been drugged? I try to think back to how I have ended up here on the ground, but I can not remember anything. Who am I? I'm suddenly not on the ground anymore, but a bed, how? How have I moved without getting up, I hear a beeping sound next to me. I try to look around the room I am in, my head fails to move. I can see the window, it is dark and raining, what time is it? I look towards the right and there is a door, it is open and I can see people rushing past in white uniform, I hear people talking but I cannot understand what they are saying. I look at the ceiling, who am I, who am I, who am I.

I am scared for myself, though I don't know who I am, or what is going on, I want to cry but no tears escape from my eyes. All of a sudden there's a man besides me, looking at me and then looking at a machine that is also next to me, the source of the beeping.  The women from before knocks on the door, and starts talking to him, she looks at me with such grief, she has a white tissue in her hand, continuously to wipe the tears falling from her eyes. The man and the woman's talking starts getting clearer and clearer.

''I'm sorry'' The man says with regret in his eyes. But there's nothing else we can do.

What does he mean? I panic, I need to get up, I need to. I'm suddenly at the edge of the bed, looking down at my lifeless body. I have no words for what is going on, am I dead? Have I died without knowing who I am. The woman is crying harder than before, I walk over to her, I'm sorry.  The man switches something on the machine and then walks out of the room. The woman walks closer to me,  kisses my fore head and whispers 'I love you'. The room is filled with a long beep sound; the man walks back in to the room and pulls the covers over the head of my lifeless body, and leads the women out of the room closing the door behind her. My ghostly body starts moving back towards my physical body. Was this is then? Death. Is this how everyone dies? Forgetting who they were, seeing the final moments before they leave this world. I'm scared, is this all it is....

I don't want to go.