Artemis {ON HOLD}

Chapter 12

After I fall asleep, I wake up several times throughout the night. Each time I wake I see a different face watching over me like a creepy gaurdian angel of some sort. First I see Tyler, then Annabether, Will, Claire, and finally Josh in the earliest hours of the morning. When I wake up on Josh's shift I can't fall back asleep.

"Soooo, which came first, the chicken or the egg?"  I ask, bored out of my mind and trying to start a conversation.

I honestly don't know what to think of him. His attitude is brash and unpredictable. He snaps or comes with a sarcastic comment that isn't meant to be funny, just rude. Yet the moment one of his team are threatened he flips out and protects them like a wolf protecting his pack. He's just fine with yelling at his friends, but the minute someone else does he loses it. He also clearly doesn't like talking about his past, or being mocked about it.

"You don't enjoy staying asleep, do you? You have woken up at least once on everyone's shift." Josh snaps, completely ignoring my question.

I sigh. "You wouldn't find sleep very appealing either if you saw what I saw." I say bitterly.

"Believe it or not, you're not the only person who has nightmares and bad memories." Josh snaps hotly. "The rest of us have privilege of remembering our own personal horror stories. So in my mind, your amnesia is a blessig not a curse." He says angrily, sounding jealous.

I stare at him for a moment, silent. At first he holds my gaze, but then looks away and glares angrily at the ground with clenched fists.

"So tell me about it." I say, trying to break the ice between us that has only been getting thicker over time.

"Excuse me?" Josh says, returning his gaze to me.

I sigh. "I can't sleep, its like 3 in the morning, we have nothing better to do, so why don't you tell me about yourself." I offer, wanting to learn more about Josh not only to collect information, but also just to get to know him.

Josh's confused look is quickly replaced with his scowl. "When did you become a therapist?" He snaps. "I don't want to talk about my past and I have no reason to tell you anything." By this point he's clenching his fists so tightly that they're shaking.

I bite my lip, trying to figure out a way to coax him into talking to me. "Whatever it is, I won't judge. I don't care, I just wanted to get to know you a little better. I've managed to bond with everyone on the team, even Claire if you can believe it, except you. A team works bette if you understand how each other work. If you know what makes a person tick." I explain. I'm stretching the truth a bit, but I hope it seems genuine enough to Josh.

Josh considers my words without speaking for a long moment. "I don't like talking about it." He growls but I can hear his voice wearing down to a sad and pained tone.

I sat up and wrap my arms around my knees and use them as a chin rest.

"I know. But I promise if you talk to me about this I'll talk about my flashback when we're all together. I know it's not much of a promise, but still." I say, looking at him with soft and promising eyes.

Finally Josh relents. When he speaks, his voice still has its anger in it, but his tone also shows pain and suffering. "When Glenn called me a stray on the street, he wasn't kidding. I spent most of my teens living on the streets doing whatever I had to in order to survive. Cheat people, steal, get into fights, you know, your average street criminal. I didn't want to live on the streets, but it was better than the alternative." He paused slightly, drawing in a breath. Josh continues with reluctance. "My old home was a bloody shitty one. I had an older brother, a younger brother, and a little sister. There were so many of us, and not alot of pounds to support us. My father spent less and less time at home, fucking every slut he came across." Josh's voice became incredibly bitter. "When he was home, he would beat us. Since I was the oldest son, he seeme to beat me the most, blaming me for everything. My mother turned to alcohol to solve her problems, wasting what little money we had to fuel her addiction. Soon my family was only being held together by my older sister and I. We both had jobs, but it still didn't pay the bills. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand watching my little siblings starve, my older sister work herself to death, my mother drink herself into oblivion, and my father only come home just to beat the shit out of us. So when I was about 15, I ran. I didn't have a place to go, I just ran away. I left my family. Just because I was too weak to help them. I couldn't help them." Josh's says, his voice overtaken with grief, regret, and self hate. He continues shakily. "On the streets I was forced to be tough. The weak don't survive there. So pretty soon I got better and better at living on the streets. I was an amazing fighter, a decent pickpocket, and I was good at talking my way out of situations that I couldn't use my fists. Pretty soon I was well known on the streets. Gangs wanted me to join them. I refused everyone. Finally one particularly vicious gang, The Vipers, got mad that I wouldn't help. So they fucked me up back. They beat me to the point where you couldn't even recognize me. After that, I woke up here. One of Glenn's men found me. I was identified, and they knew everything about me. So Glenn gave me an option. Jail or here. I tried escaping so many times. Eventually I gave up. I didn't want to go to jail, so I chose here." Josh finishes with a sigh. He rubs the back of his neck and closes his eyes.

I can tell that he carries the guilt of leaving with him everywhere he goes. His attitude covers it well enough, but now looking back I can see the guilt in everything he does. He protects this team because he doesn't want to be responsible for hurting what few people he has left.

Suddenly I start to giggle. I can't control myself.

"What the fuck?" Josh demands.

I calm myself and explain. "I just find it hilarious how much you guys are like a dysfunctional family. You all have a part to play. You're the one with all the problems and issues, no offense, yet you protect your team no matter what. Tyler is the smart, genuis guy who everyone feels the need to protect, but when needed he can actually handle himself. Claire is the most talented, yet least popular, getting the job done yet being insensitive about everything. Will is the jokester with impressive skills, who lightens the mood and still knows what he's doing. And Annabeth is the optimistic chick who wants to help everyone with their problems and helps calm situations down." I say.

Josh nods, agreeing with me. "So what does that make you?" He asks.

I raise an eyebrow. "Me?" I close my eyes and tilt my head back. "I'm the one that doesn't belong."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

After my chat with Josh, I left the med bay, despite his protests and trying to get my back in bed. It was only 4 at that point, so I wandered to the kitchen, found coffee, and went to the training room. I practiced with a bow, throwing stars, knives, guns, and anything else I got my hands on. I eventually lost track of time.

I was so focused on my training that I didn't hear someone walk up behind me. The person used their hands to taser me, making me jump and shriek.

"Jesus, Uriah, you know I hate it when you do that!" I shout. The words came as a reflex, I didn't think about them until I spoke them. I immediately stop and try to figure out why I said that.

"Ummm... who's Uriah?" Asks my attacker, Will. What was meant to be a joke had sent us both spiralling into confusion.

"I-I don't know. It just was a reflex to say that. I have no idea who Uriah is, or why I said it. I just don't know." I say, anger and confusion washin over me. I feel a headache start to take over again. I rest my forehead against the punching bag I'm standing by.

"Woah, hey hey hey, you don't have to push yourself. Maybe you're just starting to remember everything slowly. Don't push yourself." Will sooths. He's not as comforting as Annabeth, but he helps somewhat.

I sigh and stand up straight. "Thanks, I guess. I mean, whoever Uriah is, he must've annoyed the living shit outta me. Maybe forgetting him wasn't a bad thing." I say with a grin. I'm joking, trying to lighten the mood.

Will gives a tired grin. "How do you do it? You manage to look on the bright side of everything. You joke about the worst situations even more than I do. You're hilarious at the wrong moments which makes it even more hilarious." He says.

I lift an eyebrow. "Sweetheart, I'm not an optimist. I'm just a pessimist on crack." I joke with a grin.

Will roars with laughter. I didn't think it was that funny, but Will looks about ready to piss himself.

Claire walks in. She takes a look at Will in his current state and raises an eyebrow at me. I shrug and grin in response. Claire rolls her eyes.

"As much as I hate interrupting whatever the fuck this is, Glenn has decided its time to start our team bonding exercises. Be in the Living room in 10." She says, and leaves as quickly as she came.

Will composes himself as grins at me. "Well? What are we waiting for? Come on, let's go." He says and heads for the door.

"Please tell me we aren't going to a wildlife camping type shit. Because that would suck." I say, following Will.

He only laughs, "I'm with you on that one."

I grin and we both head to the living room, to have lots of team building fun.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A/N: Ughhhhhhhhh I have no motivation. I feel like this book is turning into shit. Is anyone even reading this? Please drop a comment and tell me if I should keep writing it or nah. I might ditch it and focus on The King's Mercenary. I have a way I want this book to go, but idk how to get it there. Please comment and vote and whatever. I seriously need the motivation.