The Lost Boy and the Starseed ✓ (tronnor)

30.

{a/n okay so remember the part in my story where they were on the rooftop drinking beer, Connor just posted the picture above. I'm totally psychic. :'D }

When I got outside I immediately called Kayla, I felt like crying but angry at the same time. I was worried sick about Connor, that talk didn't seem like it had been that nice. I didn't even dare to think some of the words they had said to him, and what sort of damage they had done to him. I knew Connor was smarter and more wise than his homophobic family but still, when your family "gets real" with you it still hits a lot harder than some stranger commenting on a youtube video.

'Troye? what's wrong?' Kayla said, she could sense something was going on. I took a deep breath,

'His family is homophobic, they know about me being gay and saw the texts Connor and I exchanged, they fired me. ' I rambled, clenching my fists.

'What? Fire you? Because of who you like? That's so stupid..!' she exclaimed, her voice angry. 'But still no Connor?' she asked.

'Nope..' I sighed, my stomach twisting as the sick feeling crept up on me again.

'I'm scared Kay..' I uttered, 'Lord knows what they have said to him' I added, my voice shaking. I couldn't shake the thought of the beautiful person that was Connor Franta crying because his parents neglected him for his preferences and decisions, stuffing him in the closet, far far back.

'Don't go there with your thoughts Troye' Kayla said, giving me a hint of reality.

'You met some of his friends right? You could talk to them? Maybe Connor has talked to them?' she proposed, luckily she could do the thinking for me, I wasn't really on a fast train of thought. If I ever was on a train of thought to begin with.

'yeah.. that's a good idea, thanks Kay, I'll do it immediately. Love you ' I said before hanging up.

I opened the door to Blue's coffee and the smell of coffee-made-with-love-meets-everything-sweet-and-delicious­ invaded my nostrils. Even though Bethany and Connor weren't really on speaking terms, she had been one of his best friends for years and therefore knew him quite well. I didn't know why they were avoiding each other, but I figured that maybe that could also say something about why Connor was avoiding me, and people in general.

And if Bethany really had been his friend she probably still cared about him. But then again, everyone cared about Connor Franta, he just had something heart-warming and precious in his whole presence that made you want to be his friend and get close to him and have coffee chats with him.

Bethany looked up quite surprised when she saw me,

'Hey Troye' she said, happy as she was told to do but it still sounded quite a bit questioning.

'Hey,' I said while walking up to the counter.

'Do you want to order something or are you here to yell at me as well?' she said, smirking awkwardly like she was trying to avoid a surprise-confrontation. My brows knitted,

'What no, not at all what do you mean yell at you?' I said confusedly, looking at her with big eyes. Her face lit up, '

Oh that's great, I was already prepping myself, but uhm yeah what do you want?' she said as she walked towards the coffee cups.

'What, no uhm, I'm not here for coffee, sorry, I just wanted to ask you if you happen to know where Connor is..?' I said, leaning on the counter awkwardly. Bethany frowned as she walked away from the cups.

'No.. why? I figured if anyone knew where Connor Franta was at, it would be you' she stated, shrugging, her eyes still showed some suspicion though.

'Well, he hasn't been returning any of my calls or responding to texts since Friday and he wasn't at work today, his parents don't care at all and I'm just really worried. He hasn't tweeted a thing since I last saw him' I explained hastily as I looked at Bethany hopefully. She just frowned as she tried to take everything in. 'And I know you two are not the best of friends right now but since you do know him really well I was hoping that maybe you had an idea where he could be?' I rambled on, I was determined.

Bethany tilted her head a bit and shook her head lightly, her brown curls moved a bit. 'No.. I'm sorry Troye, I haven't spoken to him since Friday night.' She said, drawing her lower lip between her teeth. I could tell she regretted something.

'Wait, Friday night?' I asked,

'yeah, he called me at like, 11 pm. He sounded really shaky at first and then he burst out in anger' she explained, looking past me as she recalled the moment. I frowned,

'Why was he angry with you?' I asked confusedly. Bethany sighed, and looked at her hands as she tried to decide if she was going to be honest or not. She then looked up,

'So.. it started like 1,5 weeks ago when I met up with Connor. He couldn't shut up about you, so I jokingly said: "Connor, just marry this boy already, if I didn't know better I would swear you're in love with him, I wouldn't blame you though" And then he turned really red, he couldn't suppress his smile. So I got what was going on and I said: "oh.. you are.." and he still didn't respond. He looked down at his coffee and the blush faded. I didn't know what to say, so I asked the one question burning on the tip of my tongue:"'are you gay?" god it was so stupid of me to ask that, and then,' Bethany sighed as she remembered the moment vividly, I could see she was still hurt by it and was full of regret. And I had to admit, yes it was stupid of her to ask that.

'then he stood up angrily, shaking his head drastically, yelling at me that I was crazy for thinking something ridiculous like that and that I needed to grow up and that he didn't need me in his life' she finished, she looked down quite embarrassed, fumbling with her fingers.

'Wow and 1 week later he kisses me' I said in disbelief, the Connor she described was not the Connor I knew. But he had never been angry at me before. Bethany's face lit up,

'omg he did? Go Connor' she chuckled, but it wasn't happy. 'well that explains why he yelled at me Friday' she said, more to herself then to me, getting to the point why I asked about the fight.

'He said that it was all my fault and that if I had never made him question his sexuality all would be fine, I think he then started crying and well he hung up before I could respond properly, not that I had a response..' she stated.

My heart dropped to my stomach. That was a lot to take in, he was struggling so hard and I had never seen that. Funny, how people can just make you believe what they want you too. We can all just put on a mask and live our lives lying if we want to.

'wow..' that was the only thing I could utter. Bethany shrugged,

'yeah, sorry I don't know if I'm helping'

I smiled at her supportively, 'yeah well at least I know now how he feels about kissing me..' I stated, gazing at the ground,

'No Troye, seriously he was head over heels for you, he just had trouble accepting it, and well if he kissed you then maybe he did' she explained, bringing a smile to my face.

'But yeah, have you checked his apartment yet?'

'..'

'......'

'...................'

I stared at her, slapping myself in my Imagination. Bethany sighed, 'seriously Troye?'

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Don't you just love it when your computer decides to update randomly and all of your saved drafts disappear. -.-

BUT ANYWAY THANKS FOR 3K AND 300 VOTES AND IT'S THE 30TH CHAPTER SO I SEE A PATTERN HERE

xo -J