Don't Let Me Go

Chapter 8

I smoked about half a pack a day for three weeks. I knew I was getting addicted but at this point I didn't care. Nothing was more addicting than Harry. The way his eyes glistened when the sun hit off them. How there was always one lock of hair out of place in his mess of curls. The way his body was so tall and lanky. How he was always there even when he felt so far away. How he could make you feel infinite one moment then the next so very small. For the past three weeks me and Harry haven't been talking. I wanted nothing more than to cuddle up into his arms and fit my head in the perfect crook in his neck. I resisted the urge and kept to myself. I listened to a lot of music and wrote a lot. I also smoked a lot. As the days dragged on one by one I felt myself getting worse. I constantly felt numb and tired without Harry. I just needed to be held in his arms.




It was a Saturday morning meant Grace was at work. I found it odd how she chose to work on weekends. I guess the pay is better. I sat on my window seat staring at absolutely nothing with a cigarette between my two fingers. I was about to take a drag hoping it would drag the feelings for Harry right out of my heart when I heard a faint knock at the door.




I got up of the window seat and put my cigarette in the ash tray. I tiptoed over to the door and opened it. There Harry stood with his baggy v-neck and sweat pants. I didn't want to move my gaze off him. I could get lost in him I swear. Every time you look at him you find a new perfect detail about him.




"Can we talk," Harry said scratching the back of his neck. His voice was still in his morning voice. It gave me the chills. Nothing could beat his morning voice.




"Yeah sure come sit down."




We made our way over to my bed and sat facing each other.




"I noticed you've been smoking a lot."




"I don't need a lecture Harry."




"I just don't want you to die yanno? I mean you've been there for me ever since I was young and I just don't want anything to happen to you. If anything happened to you I'd be crushed. I don't even think I could wake up because I'd just turn into a lifeless lump."




"I'm not going to die Harry, don't worry. I haven't even been smoking all that much," I said trying to reassure him but my faltering voice gave it away.




"Lily you're up to a half a pack a day."




"I just got a lot on my mind I guess." I looked down at my hands and started to fiddle with them. Harry placed his larger ones over them and intertwined them with mine. I felt blushing creep up on my cheeks and butterflies soaring in my stomach.




"Look at me Lily." He lifted my chin up with his finger making me look at him dead into the eyes.




"I don't want to take even a chance of losing you so please if you think anything is wrong just tell me."




It was dead silent for awhile. All that could be heard was our heartbeats and steady breathing. I crawled over to Harry and hugged him. I just laid in his arms listening to his chest heave up and down. He wrapped his big, comforting arms around my waist. He pulled is down onto the bed and lifted the covers over us. I scooted closer into his chest and laced my legs in his. His grip tightened on me.




"I just missed you. I felt so distant from you. I just wanted this."




"Well you've got it now love so for heavens sake stop smoking. I don't want anything to happen to you."




I nodded my head a little into his chest. I relaxed my body letting him hold me and soothed my aching thoughts with the sound of his heart. I could Harry softly singing "Asleep" by The Smiths into my ear before I drifted to sleep.




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I lifted my head off of Harry's chest and looked at his angelic, sleeping face. I stifled a quiet yawn and managed to get myself out of Harry's tight grip. I went down stairs to find a message from Grace.




From: Grace

Won't be home till tomorrow morning. caught up at work be good xx




I ran upstairs skipping a step at a time. I flung myself onto Harry who was still asleep.




"Harry wake up I have good news."




"Mm Lily? what the hell?"




"Grace won't be home till tomorrow afternoon. Can we have a movie date like we used to please please please?"




Harry started to laugh with his deep laugh. "Of course we can."




So that's what we did. We laid on the couch and watched movie after movie. Some made me crawl into Harry's chest out of fear and some out of sadness.




It was about 11 at night and we were watching Safe Haven. I felt my eyes slowly droop. My body was spread across Harry's. The usual legs intertwined and head on his chest. I had never felt so peaceful and so at rest for once in my life. I felt like I was smoking yet I wasn't adding black tar to my once innocent lungs. I felt Harry kiss my nose and I looked up into his breath-taking green eyes. Impulse took over me and I kissed him. He kissed me back but stopped.




"Lily," he breathed.




"I'm sorry."
















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Author Note: hey guys I'm so sorry it's short. yay 400+ reads. I'd appreciate it if you guys voted too. I might update tomorrow only if this gets 550+ reads. ily all xx