Pinay's Pie

Chapter Five: New Bloke on the Floor

STUNNED was an understatement for the way that people reacted on my new hair. I generally had long hair when I date a guy but usually I cut it off when I am on the prowl.

Our trainer Lily was one of the most surprised. But she knew where the new haid and the outfit was for. She's been there, done that.

“You look like a pepper, honey. So hot!” she teased me when I came into the training room to give a speech in front of the new trainees. I smiled my sweetest least naughty smile. Thank the heavens I took Josh's advice to get into my rocker UP look that day. Black jeans, silver studded belt, leather half-calf boots and a shitt that had Siling Giniling on it.

“I know right?” I made the tss sound on my ass and some of the trainees laughed at what I did. I faced them and was shocked to see three new guys along with the lot of them. “Nice. We have a big number today. Hi, My name is Pinay. But I use Samantha on the floor. Yes, like the girl in SATC, that's Sex in the City for you guys.” I scouted three guys who were well-dressed. Guy number one was gay judging from the pink shirt, curly hair and pink sticking out while he was holding his pen. Guy number two looked a little geeky and he didn't seem interested in me at all. Guy number three leaned back and was wearing shades. He had facial hair, gross not a big fan of that, and a cap. Who wears shades and a cap indoors, weird. He was wearing a nice shirt and he seemed pretty tall because he was sitting back as was still taller than the rest of them.

“What I came here to talk to you about is my student classifications. I divide them by sexes. Then each group is divided into three. The guys are divided into the boyfriend, the jerk and the ajusshi. The ladies are divided into the girlfriend, the biatch, “ they laughed at that part, “ and the ajuma.”

“The girlfriend and the boyfriend are the easiest. But their English is what I call the nose-bleed level English. They are usually the college students or the newcomers in the companies who want to get promoted in the future so they are studying English. They are usually in their early twenties or in their early thrties. Almost all of them are single, about to get married or going to study abroad or have studied alread and want to brush up on their English. It’s very important to build rapport here since you are possibly going to guess half of the stuff that they are going to say. These people know the grammar rules and the expressions on paper but once they open their mouth, konglish spills out. Or they stutter out the keywords to the answer to your questions. Don’t fret, you are going to get a good high from the girls because they can talk to you about stuff that you talk about with your close female friends. As for the guys, once you establish that they are single, use what I call your 1-800-voice.” I switched to the sexier radio voice that I use. “This is my 1-800 voice.” I said in a voice that closer to the easy listening DJ voice for the now defunk easy listening jazz or new age radio stations. I switched back to my regular neutral accent. “You will get the hang off your librarian voice, the one I am using now.” Then I went into my call center accent voice, “Don’t you be doing the call center voice or as I call the Verizon voice. Since the girlfriend or boyfriend would not get half of the words that you are saying in that twang. In fact, loose the call center accent that put words together to save time. Innonciate for the poor creatures since they might say the words the way you are saying and we are not in the business of teaching the wrong thing here.” I switched back to my normal tone to continue. “As for the jerks and biatches, nothing you do will be good enough. You can be your nicest, best prim and proper self and they would still find a way to piss you off in less than ten minutes. God help you if you are a twenty minute calls with this type. Stress balls, chocolates and lots of water is necessary. In my case, I blog since I am trying lo loose weight.” I caught Shaider pull his shades down a bit to give me a once over so I possed for a moment. The trainees laughed a bit at that impromptu pose. “They will ask you grammar questions that are aimed to make you stutter as a fool so I suggest you bookmark grammar blogs and what not. Use your spirit fingers in googling stuff so that you can get the best of them. Do not use your 1-800 voices but alwasy make sure you bit back any negative tone or harsh remark you want to tell them. It might come out a s claim. We gauge teacher’s attitude in the class, it’s part of your teaching strategies. If you have any complaints tell your TL about it. Make sure not to pass your angst to the next student. Just pack up on happy places because you are going to need them for these people. They come in different ages but usually they are the bitter over-worked people who hate you because you sound prettier than they ever will be or some chick who sounds as sexy as you or as hot as you dumped them before.” Another round of laughter. Shaider managed to smile this time. Douche.