You Matter To Me {Phan}

Long Sleeves & Discoveries

Dan's POV

Nothing ever goes right for too long in my life. That's why I wasn't surprised when everything went to shit between me and Phil, the best thing that ever happened to me. Here, allow me to explain.

I went to Phil's house in my usual outfit, a jumper and some black skinnies, obviously covering all of my cuts. Some of them were as recent as last night when I realized how much I truly love Phil. But that shouldn't matter, because they're covered, right?

Wrong.

He was tickling me because "You look adorable when you laugh, Dan!"

When suddenly my sleeve rolled up just enough to barely see a couple shallow cuts. I didn't notice at first, but he sure as hell did.

He looked at my arm and went completely still. This is when I realized. I quickly shot up and pulled my sleeve back down before shooting him a sheepish smile.

He reached for my arm and pulled up my sleeve. I looked away in shame and began crying. Soon after, I felt his finger trace where I had carved the word "fag" into my arm.

"Why?" he whispered before dropping my arm and sobbing.

"Phil, please... let me explain."

"Not now, Dan. Just go home."

This brings me back to now, where I sit in my bedroom, bawling my eyes out, texting Phil over and over again telling him I'm sorry but I don't know how else to deal with everything. He hasn't responded.

He probably thinks I'm disgusting.

Suddenly I feel my phone vibrate in my lap. I quickly grab it and see a long text from Phil.

Philly <3:
Dan, please stop texting. I need time to process everything. I promise, I will explain when I'm ready. Just give me a little. I'm not mad or disgusted. I just feel like there's something I should've been doing to help you, but I didn't. Whatever you do, don't cut more tonight, we will talk this through tomorrow. Dan, I love you so much, maybe a little more than you think.

More than I think? What does that mean? And what does he mean explain? What's there to explain? He hates me. He wants nothing to do with me anymore.

I fall asleep with these thoughts still spiraling in my head.

~t I m E s K i P ~

I woke up to a light thumping on my window. At first I thought it was a branch, before remembering there are no trees by my window. I sat up and saw Phil there. I open the window.

"Get dressed, we're going to the park to talk."