The day you left

A bit of hope

Last night I thought I could gather my thoughts the next day and know what I have to decide on, but that didn't happen.

I feel so weak, empty and once again...alone.

I buried my face into my soft pillow and didn't move an inch nor do anything.

I want this day to end as fast as possible, even though I knew the next day is probably going to be the exact same as today...
...like shit.

Stopping the same train of thoughts I also had while in school not that many years ago, I finally stood up and went to the bathroom.

I took a quick glance at myself in the mirror.
I looked tired and even more pale than before.
I got back into my warm bed and pulled the blanket over my body.
In that moment I felt a stabbing pain in my stomach and let out a painful gasp.

I was going to bed without eating something last night, which was a bad idea, but I just couldn't think of anything else than Anna and Chase.

It was nearly two o'clock in the afternoon and because I didn't get much sleep last night, I closed my eyes and took a nap.

After some hours of getting some rest, I went down for something to eat. It has gone eight now and I started thinking about it...a lot of thinking.

The thought of him kissing and touching Anna the same way made me feel sick.

Or was it the same way? Like Anna said, they were drunk, so he didn't have much control on what he was doing and he mayb-

No...

I always try to find a way to forgive people for what they did and for how they made me feel.

I tried to give others a chance, because I know how it feels like, that you fuck up something badly and you sometimes regretting it afterwards, wishing you wouldn't have said or done that.

I don't want to be the one making people feel the that way.

...

Some people though, could use that to their advantage.

They would not feel bad and keep on doing what they like, not thinking about how you would feel to their behavior,
because you forgive that person.