How to Self Harm (A Noelian)

Sometimes a negetive experience leads to a positive one

Noel was stretched out on Julian's bed, listening to the shower. The flat was surprisingly clean, despite Julian's generally slobby appearance. Other than the three packs of cigarettes on the bedside table, there was no evidence of Julian's mess. Noel's room was a different story. There was blood all over his bed sheets. He couldn't clean it out.
Julian came out of the shower and into the room already dressed again, looking a smelling a lot cleaner and less drunk. He sat on the bed and lit a cigarette, looking down at Noel. Noel smirked up at him and Julian placed the cigarette between the younger one's lips. "Beautiful."
"How do you smoke?" Noel asked as he pulled the cigarette away from his mouth.
"It's easy," Julian said. "Breath in, not to much." Noel did as he said, placing the cigarette back between his lips. "Now inhale though. And inhale again with out it, through your mouth. Don't cheat and breath in through your nose. That's cheating."
Noel accepted the smoke into his lungs, and exhaled it out deeply. What a worrying assault on his insides that had been. No wonder Julian smoked so much. Coupled with his blood loss and lack of sleep or food, the small high went straight to his head. He took his second drag, feeling woozy and light headed and altogether amazing. He laughed out loud and Julian smiled down at him. Noel sat up, giving the fag back to Julian.
"How are you doing, Ju?" Noel asked.
"Pretty good, seeing as you're here."
Noel leant in and kissed Julian's cheek, making the older man laugh loudly.
"What the hell are you doing, little man?"
"Trying to kiss you without disturbing the ash."
Julian stubbed out the cigarette in the dish on the nightstand, and pulled Noel onto his lap. "Kiss me, then."
Noel did as he was told, kissing Julian with a smile. Julian dug his fingers into Noel's hips and pulled him closer. "Sorry," Noel apologised. "I'm not good at controlling myself when I want something."
"You can want me all you want, little man."