Bite Me

Just A Regular Hospital Day With Bart

 

Forty-Just A Regular Hospital Day With Bart

　

“On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On. Of-”

“BART, KEEP THE DAMN LIGHTS OFF!”

I open my eyes to see Bart grinning sheepishly at me. His hand is on the light switch while he stands there, still in his hospital gown. “But I’m bored, Nora.”

“Play sudoku.”

“That weird little puzzle game that I can never understand? Hell no.”

I groan and sit up in my bed, obviously not getting any sleep at all today. “Bart, what if you just got shot in the stomach? Wouldn’t you want to sleep?”

“Actually, I cant-”

“Don’t finish that sentence.” I roll my eyes. “What do you want to do? Watch some TV?”

He taps his chin, as if thinking. “I got it!” He grins, diving into his hospital bed. I stare at him while he get’s cozy in his bed, grinning like the cashier cat. Then, he takes the remote control for the bed, studying the buttons. “Alright. Nora, grab your remote.”

Not questioning it, I grab my controller and look at him. “Next?”

“We’re gonna play Mary Had A Little Lamb, only with beds. You know, how they make that noise when you press the buttons? Let’s rock and roll!” I sigh, knowing I cant get out of this one. The doctor said I cant walk around yet, only for showering and bathroom only.

“Just press the buttons I do and sing along. Ready?” I nod. “MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB! MARRY HAD A LITTLE LAMB IT’S FLEECE WAS WHITE AS SNOW!” Moving the bed so that it follows the tune of the song, I start to laugh.

“EVERYWHERE THAT MARY WENT, MARY WENT, MARY WENT, EVERYWHERE THAT MARY WENT THE LAMB WAS SURE TO GO. IT FOLLOWED HER TO SCHOOL ONE DAY, SCHOOL ONE DAY, SCHOOL ONE DAY. IT FOLLOWED HER TO SCHOOL ONE DAY, WHICH WAS AGAINST THE RULES.” We kept going through out the whole song, the bed following our rhythm.

After the song, Bart frowns. “Why was it against the rules to bring a lamb to school? It’s not like she brought it. It followed her. If I was the principal of that school, I would be like ‘bring all your lambs to school’. There’s another thing! Why couldn’t they just bring the damn lamb back home if it was causing so much ruckus!? Very idiotic school.”

Rolling my eyes at the child in front of me, I relax back into my bed. “Are you done now?”

“Not even close. Watch this.” He grabs the remote again, pressing the nurse button twice. I stare at him in confusion but he ignores me, waiting for the nurse to come in.

Brandi pops her self in. “You rang?”

Bart scoffs. “I did not ‘rang’ you.”

Brandi frowns. “I could have sworn you did…”

“You sworn wrong.”

Brandi sighs and shakes her head. “My bad. Maybe it was some other room. Feel better you two.”

I look over at Bart. “What was that for?”

He grins. “Not done yet.” After another minute, he presses it again.

“I’m back. Need anything?” Brandi pops back in after a couple minutes.

Bart frowns. “Are you deaf or something? We did not call you.”