Love and Other Trouble {Shannon Leto}

chapter 5

After a few shows in different countries, we arrived in France. For me the first visit there. The last time the band had a show here i was sick and flew back home. Luckily we had one more day and so i could make a sightseeing tour. As soon as we went to our hotel rooms, i got ready for the bed. It was actually in the middle of the night and I wanted to get up early.

My phone just buzzed like an idiot, my alarm clock. It was 7am, early enough to get up. After my usual morning routine, i slipped in a blue, tight jeans, black boots and one of my Mars shirts. I grabbed my stuff and went down to the small breakfast catering. I didn't expected that someone could be awake already,but as i entered the room i saw Finn and Stevie. "Good morning." I said as i walked along them. "Good morning Kay."
It was a perfect buffet, everything I loved was there. I decided to have a Coffee, a croissant and some fruits. I made my way over to the boys and sat down. "Why are you already awake?" Finn asked me. "Sightseeing. The last time we were here, i was sick. Remember?" "Oh yes! So you gonna make this tourist stuff today." Stevie laughed. "Yes." I said proudly, knowing they would probably making fun of me. While Finn and Stevie talked about what they did the last time they were here, Jared came in. Once he grabbed something to eat, he sat down next to us. "Louvre? Eiffel tower?" He asked, looking back and forth between Finn, Stevie and me. "Yes, Kay wants to do all these tourists things today." Stevie was still laughing. "Oh fantastic idea, Kay. Can i join you?" My head shot in his direction."You want to join me? Of course you can!"

First Jared and I went to the Eiffel tower, but there were too many people so we went straight to the Louvre. After 2 and a half hours of standing in row at the entrance, we finally got inside. We were standing in front of the Virgin of the rocks as Jared broke the actually comfortable silence. "Kay? Can i ask you something?" "Yeah?" I was afraid of what he could ask. He never asked me like this. "Is there something between you and Shannon?" I tried to stop my jaw from dropping and myself from blushing. How could he know that? It was my secret! "Uhm... Wha...What do you mean?" "Well, you 2 are pretty good friends and I can't help, but sometimes I have the feeling there's more." "More what?" "Feelings..." I swallowed the big lump in my throat. Could he know it? "Feelings? You mean the feeling you get when you have to vomit?" I tried to hide my nervousness behind Jokes. Not looking for Jared i made my way to the next painting. "Haha, no. I mean real feelings like maybe love." I stopped in shock. "Love? This strange thing that makes you eat butterflies?" I laughed weakly. "Kay, you know what I mean." "Not really Jay." "Okay, let's cut to the case. Are you in love with my brother?" Holy shit! What should I answer? Not even Finn knew what I felt for Shannon. "No!" I whispered yelled, looking through the room. "Okay, i just wanted to know it." Jared giggled, slapping my shoulder. Oh god, that was hard. Just Imagine what could have happened when I told him about it.

I laid on my bed, relaxing after the tough day with Jared. I thought about what happened in the Louvre. Of course i was in love with this asshole! I needed nothing more than his presence, his voice, his eyes that stared right in your soul. I want his skin against my, his arms holding me close. I wanted to fall asleep next to him and to wake up in his arms, to share everything i could with him. There was no night when I didn't dreamed of him. Sometimes I couldn't take his presence any more and thought about quitting the job, but i never let it go this far. This thing i had for him was my drug. Every drug kills you sooner or later, but I couldn't get away from him. A poet would say he was the ying to my yang. No matter how many times I tried to avoid him, to get away, to forget the feelings, i couldn't.