gina

outro

It's been three months.

Three months since I thought nothing would ever be happy in the world.

Three months since I was ever so sad.

Three months since I attempted suicide.

I often questioned why I would do such an act. However, as the months progress, I understand why I was so depressed. It's easy to say nothing's wrong and come home only to feel worse. But it gets better. Would I know because it's happening to me now? I know for sure. What happened to Jay affected us all, me personally. But, Jay is up there, smiling at me. Because I fulfilled his wish. His last and only wish- for me to be happy. It was always Jay and Gina. Now it's Gina and Rishit (yes it's a thing now). Gina and Rebecca. Gina and (surprise) other Gina (we're so alike, it's unbelievable). It's all such a shock to me. Was it because I never saw it coming? No, I always knew there was some good in the world, but I always thought of the bad things. I sometimes can smell the happiness on me, feel my gushing red cheeks when I talk to Rishit, my countenance often glad and unable to show any sign of gloominess. But still, I don't question it. I don't question my happiness because you know what? I deserve to be happy. Happy me! I should have known things would be okay. It wasn't my fault I was sad. Jay's dead because of his actions, and I'm not gonna die next. I'm not gonna die because of my own actions, because I am more aware. Life is at its best. Yes, my mom still drinks heavily, but after I help her all the way, and all her Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are done, she'll get better, and it will pay off. I know it, I feel it, I just know it. I'm Gina, and there's so much to live for.