The Story Of Me

The News

*beep beep*
*beep beep*
Ugh...I hate that sound
I thought to myself as I shut off my alarm and try to sit myself up in bed rubbing my eyes. I nudge Sky and yawn.
"Sky....Sky wake up it's time to go to school."
She doesn't respond.
Ugh god damnitt I really don't want to do this today Sky..
She never gets up in the morning. It takes forever to get her up. I tried shaking her softly. Nothing. I groaned softly and just kept trying. Then after a while I tried shaking her again but not as softly "Sky. Wake. Up." I said a bit louder as she opens her eyes and groans at me.
Finally, fuck.
"Wake up we gotta get ready for school lets go."
It was our last day of school for the year, finally.
We both got up and got ready for school and went downstairs, got our shoes on and headed out to the car where mom was waiting for us. I got in the front seat and she sat behind me, just like every morning and mom started to drive.
"Oh, Mary I need to tell you some news after school."
I was confused "Why don't you just tell me now...?"
"We're almost there it needs to be talked about and you can't miss school today so we will talk after school at home."
"But we can just quickl-"
"After school we will talk about it." She kind of snapped at me, it surprised me so I just stayed quiet and thought about what it could be as we pulled up to the school.
Sky and I ate breakfast together in the cafeteria then went to class. (she is a grade younger than me so we went down different halls.)

I went through my classes like any other day, quiet like usual.
But while sitting in Science I'm really starting to worry about "the news".
What could it be..what if she's pregnant? What if she's sick? She didn't seem to happy about the news..maybe it's just because it's early? Everyone gets crabby in the morning, it can't be that bad right? Ugh..I just wish she would have told me..not knowing is scaring me so badly. I jus-
Then my thoughts were interrupted by hearing my name being said by Mr. James.
"Mary Jane. Please stop day dreaming and keep working on your end of the year essay."
I could feel people's eyes on me as my face burns up.
I quickly nod and look back down on my paper pretending to write trying to get the feelings of eyes off of me.

I tried to keep the thought away the whole school day but it made time go by so much slower, every second felt to go by slower and slower as I feel myself start to panic more and more. The thought that something might be wrong kept trying to come back to me and I just had to keep pushing it away.

I couldn't focus on anything the teacher was saying. This was the last period of the day (and of this school year) and I just wanted it to be done. I couldn't even make out and understand in my head what she was saying, everything other than the clock was blurred. It was so close, I just wanted to leave.

*bell rings*

"Alright kids goodbye have a great summer! You're dismissed."

Yes yes yes yes finally

I got my stuff off my desk, and got out of the classroom quickly and walked to my locker where Sky was already waiting for me.
"Dude..are you okay?" She said as I got to my locker.
"Yeah...?"
"You're shaking pretty bad." She said and I looked down at my hands holding my notebooks and books and realize she was right, I was shaking.
Oh god this is just what I fucking needed...how many people seen...how long have I been shaking..ugh
She could tell I started to kind of freak out more and she put her arm around me and said
"You're okay, it's okay. it's not very noticeable until you're close okay? Let's get your stuff and go you'll be all good."
She always knew just what to say to me, so I grabbed my stuff and we walked out of the school and got into mom's car.
I kept trying to bring myself to break the silence and ask what the news was but I was too nervous, I was scared to know what the news was honestly.

"So," my mom finally said breaking the silence for me "do you want the news now or when we're home?"

I still couldn't tell if the news was bad...

"...home" I said without thinking
Ugh no that slipped tell me now..
"Alright."
"Wait mom.." I said playing with the bottom of my sweater biting the inside of my cheek softly (nervous habit)
"...is the news bad?"
She kind of smiled
"For me, no. But I don't know how you're going to react."
Okay that didn't help
"..ugh please tell me now."
"Well I have a boyfriend named Steve, we met a very long time ago but haven't talked much recently, but he messaged me cause he saw a status of mine saying something around the lines of 'everything is bad again' and we started talking and he asked me to be his girlfriend about a month ago, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about that earlier."

Was that it? Was that what I worried about all day long?
"Mom is that it?"
"No..last night he asked me if we would like to move in with him."

I felt my body brighten a little

That would be amazing please oh my gosh we could finally be out of our train wreck of a house please yes
"That would be amazing mom, why would I react badly?"
She didn't answer for a minute and I started to think.
"Wait where does he live...." I asked as all the brightness suddenly went away inside of me.
"..that's what i was scared of. He doesn't live here" she said with a sigh.
"How far away."
"About an hour and a half away, driving."
My heart dropped.
"WAIT." Sky said scaring me a little.
Mom nodded with sadness on her face.
...Sky wouldn't be coming