The Clichés of Jeff the Killer Stories

11. Introduction

11. Introduction

Kriiiiiing!

Ugh. Stupid alarm clock. 7:32? What? I'm late!

I throw the thing to the wall and get dressed.

By the way, my name is Mara Way. I am seventeen. I am not that tall 'cause my height is only 5'11". I have a shoulder-length dyed brown hair with blond tips. My eyes are dark brown. I am also not fat and not too thin. Slim, to be exact. I am a smart student. I excel at every subject I have. I always get high grades. I am rich; but people think I'm weird 'cause I dress up like an emo and I love horror stories. My parents are blah blah yada yada . . .

Seriously? Can't you do anything better than that?

[What I wrote up there at the intro were not all true. :)]

That's the typical introduction in stories. I don't know if I've attacked this subject before, but if I already did, just go with the flow.

So, again, that's the TYPICAL introduction. It's so annoying. I see it in every kind of stories here on Wattpad. It's SO cliché.

I have three major problems about it.

First, it's illogical. The alarm clock part was very, very illogical. I mean, you set your alarm clock to wake you up early, NOT LATE.

Second, it shows how ostentatious the character is. I don't have to know that you're rich. I don't have to know that you're smart. And I don't have to know how sexy you are! Maybe you could lower your ego level. It will help, really.

And third, it's stupid. It's stupid! I know we're just writing fan fictions, but try to at least write like a real writer. Don't just put some random words there that would make your character the most perpetual and perfect girl/boy ever. Such person does NOT exist. Don't make a MARY SUE. I HATE MARY SUE CHARACTERS! They're too perfect even Aphrodite shied away from their perfection.

Okay, I think I've gone a bit off topic, but still. Don't make stupid character introductions! JUST DON'T.

Here are some points to remember when writing your introduction. They also apply to other stories. Take them from your Overlord.

1. Don't start with an alarm clock.

2. Don't give an über descriptive introduction for the MC. Let the readers discover the MC's looks as the story progresses. Don't tell them. Show them.

3. Avoid the cliché dream sequence. It's overused, I'm tellin' ya.

4. If ever you're going to start your story with Jeff attempting to kill you but fails to do so, give us a REALISTIC reason in the next chapters. Don't give me this scene:

He raises the knife, ready to end my life, when he suddenly stops.

"I can't kill you," he says.

I just stare at him in horror.

"There's something about you," he continues, lowering the knife. "I've never felt this way—"

BULLSHIT! That's bullshit! Give me a reason!

At least make him run off first and return with a little explanation rather than his I've-never-felt-this-way-before piece of shit.

5. Spell things correctly.

6. Use proper grammar.

7. Follow 5 and 6. They help in attracting more readers. Believe me.

So, that's all I have to say for now. On my next rant, I will talk about emilovexoxo's complaint. Stay tuned! :)