16. To the Slender Mansion!
Dedicated to the LJ Specialist/LJ Story Consultant MoonWalkingEnderman for sharing her idea. Seriously, why haven't I thought of that?
Slender Mansion. Didn't you notice? ALMOST every girl that Jeff meets ends up living with them in the Slender Mansion.
HUH???
Funny, isn't it? And then the first thing that you would read in a story with this scene is this:
They all look at me as if I were a museum display. Every pasta monster is there.
"Hi!" Sally says.
"I'm Jack," says Eyeless Jack.
"Hi, I'm Masky. I like cheesecakes," Masky adds.
And then I see Ben playing video games while smoking pot. [Seriously?] And then there's Grinny. He curls around my feet.
"Hey, gorgeous," he purrs.
I can't believe I'm in this place. I feel a tap on my shoulder. When I turn around, I saw a face--no, wait, it has no face! It's Slenderman.
"Hi, I'm Slenderman; but you can call me Slendy," he says in my head.
Wow. This is voltageous!
"Welcome to the family!" Jeff says.
LOL. xD That Slendy part made me laugh. I always see that in stories.
Right. Stop laughing now, Mara.
Seriously? Why end up in Slender Mansion? Isn't there any other place for your character to live in? But the main question is: Why the hell are you moving in with Jeff? Are you in the legal age already? What's wrong with you aside from your face? :P
Kidding aside. Seriously, dude. WHY MOVE IN WITH JEFF? Is this some kind of Romeo and Juliet?
And another question, if you're living with those monsters, can you survive? Who will provide for you? Slendy? Jeff? Yourself? What's your job? Jeff's ASSistant?
Wew. Again, one tip for making your story is legit: Make sure your character's way of living matches his/her status in life.
Another follow-up question: Do they have an electricity supply in the Under Realm? Yeah, it's a mansion, but . . .
Okay, I'll stop now.
And AGAIN, give me a reason. I need your reason! There's a reason why Edward Cullen's eyes turn from black to gold! There's a reason why he sparkles (even though that reason is an abomination in the race of Dracula). There's a reason why Jeff wants to kill you; so give me a reason why he decides to let you live with him in the Slender Mansion.
What? Shut up! Don't give me that "She's different" reason. What's the difference of your character from any other characters out there? Give me a reason, NOW!
So there you have it. :)
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The Clichés of Jeff the Killer Stories
Non-FictionList of the things I always see in JTK stories. Thought they're worth mentioning. Maybe you could use this as a guide, too. ~Contains words inappropriate for VERY young readers. ~Not advised for the faint of heart. ~If your story is like one of the...
