Damaged » h. styles au

Chapter 56 - Scarlett

Ps.: Really long chapter, I'm so, so sorry. Think you'll like it, though :)

                                                                   56.  

                                                           ●•Scarlett•●

Literally, I froze. And it wasn’t even a metaphor.

I just couldn’t move a single muscle, even if I wanted to. You know those moments on movies when everything around just stops moving and all what’s left is the character and its own thoughts? That was me. Possibly, I’d just blacked out. Not completely, but definitely, I wasn’t connected to the real world anymore. Not a single bit.

Honestly, I couldn’t even look at Harry. I was certainly staring at him, but I couldn’t see him. It all went hazy. The anger I felt before, the reason why I was leaving his flat, the reason why I’d wanted to not talk to him ever again had just gone, it all had gone. All I could hear was the sound of that name coming from his lips, sounding as bad as it did years ago. I couldn’t be imagining that; the only way that name would have that kind of effect on me was if it was said out loud. And it was.

But how?

I blinked a couple of times, trying to see anything, but it was purely useless. I could barely feel Harry’s gaze focused on me; if he was calling me, I couldn’t hear it. Because suddenly, my whole life was flashing through my eyes, every single scene I’d buried deep in my soul coming back to life and leaving me there, standing like an idiot at his door. Every single voice I’d tried not to hear, every single sentence I tried to forget for so long had just come back, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t ignore it.

“How-?” I tried to ask. I could hear my voice, distant, but still; yet, at the same time, it didn’t feel as if I was the one uttering the word. My mind was somehow disconnected from my body, making me feel like someone else, someone completely different from the person I’m used to be. It was the me from the past, the one I made my best to avoid.

And I could feel it, I could feel the fear on Harry’s actions, the fear of what my reaction might be, but I just couldn’t. There was no reaction, because I couldn’t move. I felt heavy, maybe too heavy. If you ask me, I have no idea how the hell I was still standing, to be honest.

Slowly, the blurry vision started fading, and when I finally came back to where I was, Harry was around me, holding me tight, brushing the tears I didn’t even feel falling away. He was holding me, swinging from one side to the other just how you do with a baby; softly running his hands through my hair and whispering something I quite couldn’t understand on my ear.

How did he- That’s not possible.

“How?” I whispered, finally finding the strength to push him away, staring at him partly angry, partly indignant and partly confused. There was no way I told him my real name; there’s no way anyone could’ve known that. Lana doesn’t know, Angel doesn’t know, and Tyler probably doesn’t even remember it. He always refused to, anyways. “How do you- No. You can’t-”

“Scarlett,” he whispered, cutting me off, testing the name on his lips as he tentatively said it, trying to make sure I wasn’t going to freak out or whatever. “I-” he swallowed hard, looking at me even a bit scared, maybe. “Leroy,” he finally said, letting a huge breath of air out. “I’ve been talking to Leroy. He… He told me.”

What. The. F–ck?

Leroy told Harry what?! Is he going insane? Whom the hell does he think he is to go around telling people my real name? Actually, I can’t even consider it my real name anymore. Because it’s not! I guess we’d discussed that long time ago; he wouldn’t tell anyone, he wouldn’t share anything I totally moved on from! You see what the problem of keeping family close is? I should’ve walked away from him as well.