Not Forsaken

Chapter 19

Luliana and Thorin sat together quietly for quite some time. They heard no other signs of orcs, much to her relief and his as well. She had been busy poking a stick at the ground absentmindedly.

"So," Thorin finally breaking the silence. It was not awkward as other times, but he wanted to talk to her. "Tell me about your life. When you were younger."

Luliana looked over at him, moonlight shining upon his handsome features. She found herself momentarily lost, his handsomeness taking her breath away. "Oh, um..." She finally said after a few minutes, realizing she was staring at him again. He gave her a little grin, sending those same shivers down her spine. "Well, there isn't much to tell. Not really." She said finally.

"There must be something," he said, wanting to learn whatever he could about this beautiful creature seated next to him. He too was admiring her, the way the moonlight shone on her hair, the sparkle it made in her eyes. They both sat there, staring into each other's eyes. Luliana was sure that she was going to fall off the rock she was sitting on if he kept looking at her like that, but she could not pull herself away from his gaze. His eyes were like deep forest pools, she thought to herself. She felt as if she were drowning in them, and yet didn't really care.

"Luliana?" Thorin spoke, his voice hushed, the low rumble emanating from his chest made her swoon.

"Yes?" She answered him, still lost to his gaze. "Oh. I'm sorry," she said suddenly, snapping back into reality. "Well, let me think." She thought for a moment, trying to decide where to start. "I was born near the Ettenmoors, many years back. My mother was 173 when I was born. My father was much younger than she, almost 90 years. He was a smith. My grandfather had began working for his father many years before, when the dwarves had settled in the Blue Mountains. After the dragon." She paused for a moment, Thorin nodded at her to go on.

"My mother would tell me about how they fell in love, my father took notice of her right away, and had spent many years trying to win her love. He was persistent, she had told me." Luliana smiled, remembering the delight her mother would speak with. Her parents had loved each other so. "When my father finally asked to court my mother, she agreed, but my grandfather was angry with her. He had expected her to marry a dwarf, understandably so. My mother had told me once that it would have been better for her daughter if she had. But it made me sad to even think such a thing. I would not be here, had she married a dwarf." Luliana looked out over the moonlight landscape, brow furrowed. "Why would she even say that?" She wondered out loud to herself.

"Well, it is usually the way of dwarves, to marry their own kind. Dwarrow dams are so very rare among our race," said Thorin. "But," he quickly added, "what was between your father and mother is not unheard of."

Luliana looked over at Thorin, sensing something behind the words he said, waiting for him to say more. When he didn't, she continued. "When my father expressed his interest to marry my mother, my grandfather told him that it was not possible, that he would not allow it. But they were each other's missing half, my mother told me. So my parents went away, and were married in secret."

"I imagine that must have angered your grandfather," Thorin offered, knowing that it surely would have been the case.

"Oh, yes," Luliana continued. "And not for no reason, I suppose. In Erebor my mother would have been married to someone of noble blood. Her own mother was adviser to the queen, and my grandfather was one of the royal jewelers, making items for the royal house." Luliana thought for a moment, suddenly struck by something. "Thorin," she said excitedly, "my grandparents may have known the king, King Thror! Your grandfather!"

"Yes, that is true," he answered her, knowing this was in fact the case. He watched her face carefully. He had in fact known her grandparents himself. Luliana's grandfather had made the beads of mithril he wore on his braids, the same ones that matched one that Luliana carried. He looked, seeing her braids were gone. "You have taken out your braids. Why?" He asked her suddenly.

"Oh," Luliana blushed, surprised Thorin had noticed such a detail. "I had to wash the deer blood from my hair from the hunt earlier. I removed the braids and the bead as to not lose it."

Thorin considered for a moment before speaking, not wanting to reveal too much to her, not yet. "Luliana, I would have known your grandparents as well," he said, slowly. He was completely unsure of her reaction. "In fact, I did know them."

Luliana stood up suddenly, eyes wide, looking at Thorin as if he had struck her. "What?!" She gasped. "But how could that be? You...you couldn't..." She was stunned, to say the very least. She knew nothing of her mother's family, not even their names. Her mother never spoke of them, except to tell her that Luliana's grandmother had died shortly before the dragon came. She sat back down next to Thorin with a thud. Her mind began to swim. How could he know them? He wasn't old enough. He couldn't be. I don't even know them and they are my kin! Her thoughts raced, very close to tears. She stood again, taking a few steps away.

Thorin stood up, walking over to her. He put a hand on her shoulder. "Luliana," he said to her gently, "I'm sorry. Please..."

"Don't. Please don't apologize." Luliana interrupted him. "You could never have known. It was my own mother's fault for never speaking to me of them. She was so angry with my grandfather and she had never forgiven him. He drove my mother away, as did my father's family. It was why we were alone."

Thorin stood with her, saying nothing. He was afraid he had said too much already. What am I to do now? He thought to himself. I have been so foolish! "Luliana," he said again quietly, "I have hurt you. Please, can you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive," she replied simply. "The fault is not yours, but the fault of others who chose to remain angry and bitter." A tear rolled down her cheek, which she wiped away quickly. She sighed, and went back and sat on the rock. "Thorin, I have a favor to ask of you." He looked at her, wondering what it could be.

"Anything, Luliana." He answered quickly.

"Please, could you tell me about my family?" She offered him a weak smile. In an instant, his heart shattered. He wanted to embrace her at that moment, to hold her and tell her that he would keep her safe. That he loved her more than he loved even his dear nephews. He wanted to tell her everything. Everything. But he couldn't, not yet. He had caused her too much pain already.

"I will," he said, "but the time is late, and we must start early. Let us continue this another time, hmm?" He hoped that she would not be upset, but he also new it wasn't the time.

She looked away for a moment, then back to him. "You're right," she said, much to Thorin's relief. "I am tired, so very tired." She stood and began walking back towards the others. She stopped, and turned to Thorin, who was watching her go. "Thank you." She said, smiling at him again.

"For what?" Thorin asked.

"For not turning me away, for not forsaking me. You did not have to allow me to join you on this quest."

He looked at Luliana, standing there in the moonlight, her long hair trailing behind her in the breeze, her eyes shimmering in the soft light. How small she was, he thought. He gave her a small smile. "I do not believe Gandalf gave me a choice." He smirked, nodding towards the wizard who appeared to be asleep. "Besides that, he told me he believed this was part of your destiny. Who was I to argue?" Not wanting to end on that, he continued "you have a strong heart, my lady. I would be a fool to turn you away. Sleep well, Luliana."

She smiled back at him, and went over to her bedroll. Burying herself under her blanket, she closed her eyes. Thorin's face was the last she saw as she fell asleep.