Taboo

Lost

2 weeks later

I haven't been going to the studio for a week, I told Brandon I needed some time alone and he was cool with it. I haven't talked to Phil either, or anyone of my friends and family.

I don't feel like I belong to this world.
What if I'm gay? Or bi-sexual? What would people think of me? How would they react? What about my family..

I need so stop thinking about this. I'm not even sure if I'm gay.
Maybe it's just because I'm not feeling myself lately.
But what about Mike?
Mike.. Am I attracted to him? I don't know, but there's one thing to find out..

It was a rainy day today. I took a shower and went downstairs to watch tv for a bit and waited for the rain to stop.

After the rain stopped I drove to the little shop next to the gas station to see Mike. I saw him smoking on the front of the shop and I walked over to him.

"Hey" I said.
"Oh. H-hey Bruno."
"Listen I'm sorry about what happened, I really wasn't feeling myself, I was drunk."

"It's okay, I mean it's not your fault, I totally understand." He said quietly.
"Good. I was worried I fucked things up again." I said relieved.
"Really? That's what I was thinking too." He said smiling.

"Uhm Mike?"
"Yes?"
"What do you think of.. I mean maybe we could.. Would you.. Like.. Wannagooutwithme?" I said nervous.
"What?" He said laughing.
My face turned a little bit red.
"Would you.. Like wanna go out somewhere.. Wi-with me?" I said looking down.
"Ofcourse I would!" He said laughing.
I started laughing too. I'm usually never this nervous when I ask somebody out. It's crazy what this boy does to me.

Mike had to work one more hour and then he'd be done. I was waiting in my car nervously. I've never done this before, what if it doesn't work?
It won't work.
This is bullshit, I need to cut it off.
But then he came and I felt like every thought that was in my head,
just flew away.

He got in and it started raining really hard.
"Why now?" I said frustrated.
"No it's perfect. I love rain" he said smiling. His smile made me smile.
"So you still wanna go, even though it's raining?"
"Yes why not?"
"Nothing. Let's go." I said smiling.

After 20 minutes driving, we arrived at the pizza hut.
"I hope you like pizza." I said.
"Ofcourse I do." He said laughing.
"Good, because they have the best pizza here, every time I come here, I feel like I'm getting fatter but then I realize I don't give a fuck."
We both started to laugh and then went to a table.

When we were eating our pizza we started talking. Every time he said something, I got lost in his eyes.

We finished our pizza and I payed for it.
"I wanna take you somewhere." He said.
"Where?" I asked.
"You'll see." He said smirking.

We got outside and I was heading to my car.
"Let's walk." He said.
"Why?"
"I like walking. Come on" he pulled me with him.

We were walking, I didn't know where we were going.

"So eh.. How is being famous like?" He asked.
"It's cool, but sometimes it's hard too. I mean I love my fans to death, but sometimes it's just too much you know."
"What is too much?"
"I mean.. You can't always say what you wanna say, you have to be careful with what you do, what people think. It sucks" I said looking down.
"Fuck what other people think. Just live your life how you want."
"That's easy for you to say."

"Don't you like, go out sometimes,
to escape reality?" He asked.
"I do. Right now."
He was quiet for a bit. I saw him smiling.

"We're here!" He yelled.
It was a park but there were fences, and there locks on it.
There was no way we could get in there.

"Eh.. Mike, it's locked."
"I know." He said and then he started climbing. He got all the way up and then jumped.
There was no way I was going to that.

"Are you coming?" He yelled.
"Nah I'm good."
"Come on Bruno! Don't be a pussy!"
"I'm not a pussy!" I yelled.
"Then show me you're not a pussy!" He said challenging me.
Then I started climbing.

I was on top of the fence. It was getting darker and it was raining.

"JUMP!" He yelled.
I was a little scared. But then I did it, I jumped, and I felt really good.

"I know you weren't a pussy." He said smirking.
"Told ya!"

It was beautiful here, there were trees and ta lake with swans swimming in it.

We were walking, no one said a word until:
"Bruno why did you ask me to go out with you?" He asked me and turned to face me.

I was quiet.
"Bruno?"
"I.. I don't know."
"You don't know? Bruno look at me."
I looked up at him.
"Do you really want this?"
"I don't know Mike, I don't fucking know. Just stop Please.You make me feel things I don't wanna feel, you make me so confused." I said frustrated.

"Bruno, you are an amazing guy and I can't lie that I'm attracted to you, I have been thinking about you every day since I've met you, but I know you're not yourself lately and I don't wanna push you into things that you may not want."
I didn't know what to say.
I don't know what I want.

He came closer to me.
Oh my god. Is he gonna kiss me?
I didn't know what to do

Should I pull away?

New chapter. I know it's a bad chapter, I'm sowwy
X Kam