Beneath the smile

Chapter 5

Harry opened his eyes and looked at his beautiful boyfriend. Louis was breathing calmy and Harry still couldn't believe that Louis was his boyfriend, he didn't know how he could deserve someone like that, he was overjoyed. He loved Louis more than anything else right now and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Harry looked through the room and noticed the red roses on the dresser. Right, Louis had caught the bridal flowers. Harry grinned and got up, he grabbed his clothes and shoes and left the flat as silent as possible.

When Louis woke up he rolled over and expected Harry to lie beside him, but there was no-one. He thought nothing of it and walked into the kitchen, Louis thought that Harry would sit on the window sill with a cup of tea, looking over the streets of London, but there was no-one. Louis slowly panicked and searched for a note or something like that, since he couldn't really believe that Harry left without a word, but there was no note. He sat down on the window sill and looked down, hoping that he would see Harry's black Range Rover, but there was no black Range Rover. He stood up and checked every room in his flat, making sure that Harry was really gone and he was right, Harry was really gone. Louis searched for his phone and when he finally found it, he dialed Harry's number.

Harry arrived at the little restaurant and entered the building. His mum and his sister were already waiting for him. Anne stood up and hugged her son tightly. "Hey." "Hi mum." Harry gave her a peck on the cheek and hugged his sister as well. The three sat down and Anne searched for a little note in her handbag. "There you go. I know a lot of good jewellers in London and we are going to all of them today until we find the perfect one." "Thanks, mum." Gemma raised an eyebrow. "Is Louis in his flat at the moment?" "Yup." "Are you sure that he's going to be safe?" "Yes, as soon as I found a ring, I'll call him and tell him to meet me in Hyde Park." Anne smiled. "This is so exciting. My daughter is married and my son plans to propose to his boyfriend today, I'm so happy for both of you." "Uhm...yes I want to propose to Louis today, but I have to find a ring first, we should hurry up." Anne, Gemma and Harry stood up and left the restaurant. The three got into Harry's car and hit the road. When they arrived at the first shop Harry's phone rang, it was Louis. Harry wanted to answer his call, but he didn't want Louis to know what he was doing, so he didn't, unaware that he could have been to the one to safe Louis from what followed.

Louis looked at his phone in fear, Harry hadn't answered his call. He slowly started to get anxious, what was Harry doing? Why didn't he answer his call? Why did he leave in the morning without a word? Did Louis really mean nothing to him? Louis had so many questions, too much. His head was reeling and the thoughts and questions made him go crazy. He felt down on the ground and looked at the ceiling. Louis closed his eyes, he wanted it to stop, the reeling in his head, the pain, everything. He was sad again and he didn't want to be sad, he wanted to be with Harry now, but Harry was gone and Louis feared that he would be gone forever. Now everything made sense to Louis. He never believed that Harry loved him, he just never really believed that someone could love him and now he felt vindicated. Louis slowly got up and walked into the bathroom. He could see the miserably boy in the mirror again, that pathetic boy with his tear-stained eyes. Louis sat down in the tub and wanted to drown in his own tears.

Harry, Gemma and Anne entered the last shop and Harry looked at all the engagement rings. He smiled when he saw the perfect ring. It was silver, a little bit broader and out of titanium. "Excuse me?" The woman behind the counter turned around and smiled politely. "Yes, sir?" "Would it be possible to engrave something on this ring?" "Yes, sir. What do you want to engrave onto the ring?" "Uhm...I'll look after you." "We can engrave that and you could pick up the ring at 1PM." "That would be great, thanks." Anne hugged her son and smiled. "That's such a beautiful ring and that sentence sounds lovely, Louis is going to love the ring." "I just hope that he's going to say yes." "Trust me, he's going to say yes. I saw how he looked at you, he truly loves you." Gemma punched her little brother gently. "Where do you wanna propose?" "Hyde Park, on the Serpentine bridge." "Sounds lovely. Can't believe that my baby brother wants to get married." "I'm not your baby brother Gemma." "You are, my little baby brother Harry." Harry chuckled and followed his mum, who walked back to the car.

Louis still sat in the bathtub and looked at the ceiling. The pounding in his head hadn't stopped and he slowly grew desperate. He filled the tub with water and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing a knife. He took of his clothes and sat down in the tub again, Louis carefully put the knife on the floor and dived under. When he came up again the pounding in his head hadn't stopped. Louis closed his eyes and searched for the knife on the ground. He slowly guided the blade to his arm, when the blade of the knife touched his skin he shivered. Louis didn't care anymore, he didn't care if he would die or live today, he didn't care about Harry, his sisters, his mum, his career as an actor, he simply didn't care. When blood started dribbling in the water Louis dived under again and watched as more and more blood coloured the water red. He came up and wanted to leave the bathtub, but he was already too weak and slowly passed out.

Harry and Anne were sitting in front of a little café and waved Gemma goodbye, because she had to go to work. Harry sipped on his coffee and his excitement grew. "I can't wait to call Louis." "Aw, look at you. You're so excited, I think the last time that you were so excited was on your 11th birthday when you got that CD player." Harry laughed. "I just want to get it over and done with." "I know, love, I know."

Johannah and Fizzy wanted to visit Louis again and decided to visit him that day. The stood in front of his door and when he didn't open the door, Johannah opened the door with the key that Louis gave her a while ago. She walked into the kitchen, but there was neither hide nor hair of him. She frightened when she heard a scream out of the bathroom. Fizzy was standing in front of the bathtub and looked at the lifeless body of her brother. The water was blood-red and Louis' arm hang out of the tub, blood dribbling on the ground. "Mum! Louis he's-" Johannah ran into the bathroom and looked at her daughter. The shock was profound. "Fizzy, call 999." Fizzy ran into the living room and searched for a telephone, she dialed 999 and prayed to god that her brother would survive this. When the ambulance arrived they got Louis to the hospital as quick as possible, Johannah and Fizzy followed them. Luckily Louis wasn't bled to death. The doctor explained Johannah that he would be alright, but it would take a few days for him to recover, since he had lost a lot of blood. Johannah didn't know why her son would do something like that, Louis had always been the happiest person ever and it was just inexplicable to her.

Harry and Anne drove back to the jeweller and picked up the ring. Harry dialed Louis number and waited. He was surprised when Louis' mum answered his call. "Harry?" "Jay? Hi. Where's Lou?" "Harry, he's in the hospital. I-I don't even know what happened, but there was so much blood and I-" Jay couldn't continue talking. "Jay? Jay! Is he alright?!" Jay sobbed and caught her breath again. "Y-yes. He's alright, but the doctor said he needs some time to recover, he lost a lot of b-blood." Harry looked at his mum, tears streaming down his face. "What's wrong?" "Louis, he's in the hospital. I think he tried to kill himself and that's all my fault, I shouldn't have left. It was my duty to make sure that he's safe and I-I...it's my fault." "What? No, Harry, noo." Anne hugged her son, trying to comfort him. "We-we have to drive to the hospital, I can't leave him alone, he needs me now." "Sure, Harry." Anne and Harry got into the car and drove the hospital. When they arrived Johannah and Fizzy were sitting on a bench in front of the building. Their eyes were tear-stained and the young girl still seemed to be in a shock. Anne sat down besides them and looked at her son. "Go inside, I'll take care of them." Harry ran into the building and asked a nurse where he could find Louis.

He entered the room and looked Louis. He looked fragile and weak, his eyes were closed and his breathing was so silent, that you almost couldn't hear it. His skin looked pale and a thick bandage hid the cuts on his arm. Harry kneeled in front of the bed and got out a little box. He opened it and showed Louis the titanium ring, even though Louis couldn't see it. "This is the reason why I wasn't with you today, I wanted to surprise you, but I-I left you alone and now you're here and it's all my fault. See, it says "I'll look after you", but I didn't, I didn't look after you, I-I didn't, I'm so sorry." Tears streamed down his face and Harry collapsed on the ground, when Louis' hand tightened around Harry's. Harry stood up and smiled when Louis opened his eyes. "Hi, Lou." "Am I dead?" "No, you're not." "What are you doing here?" "I worried about you, Lou." "You did?" Louis looked at the box in Harry's hand. "What's that?" "This is for you." Harry opened the box. Louis starred at the ring and a tear rolled down his cheek. "What? Harry? I don't understand." "I love you Louis and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life without you. I bought this ring today and I wanted to propose in Hyde Park to you, but now you're here." "Why would you want to marry me? Why would anyone want to marry me?" "Because you're the most beautiful boy I've ever met. I love everything about you, Lou. I want to marry you, but do you want to marry?" "I-I yes." Louis smiled as Harry put the ring on his finger. "I love you and I'll look after you."