Marvel & X-men one shots

Paprika Chili (ScarletVision)

Clint set his cap on the counter next to the sink. "Okay! Paprika Chili! This is like, my second time making this, so don't be mad if I mess up." He grabbed a pot and set it on the stove. "I figured if you wanted to have something with paprika in it, I'd be your man." I found a book, even. Wanda chuckled and sat on the other side of the counter, looking at the pot. "What's chili?"

Clint looked up at her. "What do you mean, 'what's chili?' Like a meaty spicy tomato stew soup thing. It's great, I promise." He and Wanda exchanged blank looks before he broke the silence, clapping his hands together. "So! First ingredient. Water."

Later, the two watched the chili bubble. "Clint, you didn't put any meat in it," Wanda whispered, eating a spoonful. Her face contorted quickly into one of shock mixed with pain. "Very hot too."

"That's what you get for not blowing on your spoon." Clint smiled, turning off the stove. "And that's also the thing. I kinda ran out of meat a while ago. So it's just... veggies, tomatoes, paprika." Wanda blinked. "You went to the store this morning to get these ingredients," she said, stifling a giggle. Dangit. She's right. "Nobody's perfect," he countered. "Nobody forgets a vital ingredient to a recipe when they go shopping specifically for those things."

"Oh hush. Just taste it." Clint scooped some into a bowl and slid it to Wanda. She hesitantly took a couple of spoonfuls before shoveling the rest in. "Man! Hungry?" Clint smiled. She likes it! I think. "A bit." The smile was returned.

"I'll grab some in a bit. Too hot." Clint grabbed his cap, situated it on his head, and came back to the stove. "I love this thing. Super comfy." Wanda chuckled, snatching another spoonful from the pot. "Sam loves his too." He looked to the window, seeing a flash of red blast into the room, right into him. That dang Vision jumping to conclusions. The android's fist hit his jaw, leaving Clint groaning against the counter.

"Vis!" He heard wanna call out as Vision raised his hand again, the gem on his head beginning to glow. Clint watched it turn red and his attacker was launched into the ceiling, then thrown back down at his feet. Vision got up, groaning. "Wanda, I-"

"Vis, it's only Clint!" There was a pause.

"I was only watching from outside to ensure your safety."

"Safety? Outside?! Clint and I were cooking! Nothing dangerous. He's not a stranger." Vision stood up. "I... I apologize." Clint stayed silent, watching the two. Wanda leaned closer to the android, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Apology accepted." Vision smiled, resting his hands on her shoulders. "One more thing," Wanda added, "I want a bit more... incentive to accept it though..."

"So since when..." Clint stopped when Wanda pulled Vision to the other room. "Maximoff! I need a ride home..." Okay, so I know they like each other, but THIS MUCH?! I'm not one to question a robot and magic lady romance.

Clint's phone began to ring as they closed the door. He quickly picked it up. "Laura! Hey." He stood up, rubbing his jaw with his free hand. "How's it going? You coming home yet?"

"Well, here's the thing. My ride home is making up with her... boyfriend. Like. Making up." Clint glanced at the door as he dished himself some of the chili. "In the meantime, I made some paprika chili."

"Paprika...?"

"... Yes." Clint quickly swallowed a spoonful. "Spicy."

"I know this was quick, honey, but I've gotta go pick up the kids. Good luck with your carpool."

Clint gasped. "Laura, no! Don't leave... me..." Hung up. He looked down at his bowl. "Should've got some meat."

Clint sat his phone down, staring at the chili. He began whispering to himself as he ate. "The Maximoff child decides to... play around right when I'm about to get a ride home! Holy-" A bang and a groan sounded from next door. "Seriously!" Clint stood up and ran to the door, stopping as he put his hand on the doorknob. I don't wanna see this. Never mind. He quickly turned and paced back to his meal.

After he finished his chili, he played a game on his phone as the various noises continued. Zone it out, zone it out, zone it out. He jumped at the notification sound. A text. From Steve? "On my... way?!" He read the text, mortified. He quickly played some music on his phone and turned it up to the loudest volume.

Steve entered the room, a smile on his face. "Smells nice, Clint!" He turned to the room occupied by Wanda and Vision. Clint turned from the counter and rushed to Steve's side as he opened the door. "CAP, NO!" I'M TOO LATE! Poor man. He watched his face turn from one of cheer to one of terror. "Steve! What the-" The door was shut before Wanda's voice inside finished her sentence.

"They're... fonduing," Steve whispered, staring at the ground next to his feet. "I tried, man," Clint replied, patting him on the shoulder. "Want some chili?" Cap replied with a nod.

Clint grabbed another bowl and got some chili for Steve. "Did you say fonduing? What's that? Obviously not the sauce," he asked, setting his empty bowl in the sink. I didn't make that much. Meh. Clint set the pot in the sink next to his bowl. "It's what they're... doing."

"Oh." Clint's attention went back to his phone, turning the music down. "Sorry that they're making it awkward. It was out of the blue for me too. I got shoved to the counter but, you know, I'm good." Not as good as they are- CLINTON BARTON! I am a civilized human being. There's no need for jokes like this. Of course, it cued another yell from the other room. Well timed, life, well timed. "How's the situation with Tony?"

"He's doing fine. We're gonna stitch stuff up eventually. For now, he's helping Rhodes." Steve smiled. "I'm happy, Clint. We can't fight these next threats alone. And now that we have those two," he pointed to the closed door, "We have more of an advantage for our next battles."

Clint nodded. "But for now, I wait for my carpool to stop enjoying herself."

"Fonduing was Wanda's idea? That doesn't seem like her." Steve blinked, already finished with his chili. "Well... yeah. Ever since you helped us escape the Raft, she and Vision have spent more time together. I mean, he did help her get her mind off how they treated her in there." I'm not forgiving them, that's for sure. "So it seems they've gotten more... touchy."

Everything went quiet for a bit. Yep. Thanks for amplifying the awkward. Suddenly, the door burst open and Wanda stumbled out, wrapped in bedsheets. "Are you out of chili?!" she panted, taking glances at both Steve and Clint. Both nodded.

She sighed. "I can make something, Wanda," Vision said, coming into view. He looked as he always did, now clothed in a brighter outfit. Compared to Wanda, who's hair was disheveled, practically standing in a pile of rags, and looked as exhausted as she could. "Sure, Vis, but first, Clint needs a ride home." She took a breath. "Excuse me for a bit."

Clint waited, making occasional eye contact with Vision. "So, Steve, staying here?" He asked as Wanda jogged back, dressed in sweats, her hair up in a messy bun. Cap nodded. "Ready, Barton?" Barton?!

"Ready when you are, Maximoff."

As they approached his house, Wanda chuckled. "Sorry about that. It was all of a sudden. You know, he was one of the people who really helped me recover from the prison." She sighed, stopped the car in his driveway. "Also. Thanks for the chili. I'll call you if I need more recipes." She smiled.

"Of course. Don't go too crazy, kid. I've got a baby to take care of without you around." Clint returned the smile. "Make sure to add the meat if you make the chili again." He opened the door and stepped out. "And please don't scare Steve any more than you have." The two laughed as Clint shut the door, waved his goodbye, and walked inside his house.

"Dad!" His kids ran up to him, nearly knocking him over. "Hey, you rascals. Were you good for mom while I was gone?" Both nodded. "Good!"

Oh. Crap.

I left my cap by the oven.

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Hey guys I hope you enjoyed this one shot. It was fun to write. Please feel free to leave any ideas and we can write them. Thanks for reading.

-Anonymous

*I do not own anything in this story. All of the rights go to Marvel. I do not own any of the characters.*