afraid | the walking dead

Chapter 9

I was left sitting on the outside steps, alone again. I couldn't get the thought of Judith out of my head. A baby. In this world. How have they kept her safe this whole time? Who would bring a baby into a world like this? How would Maggie do the same? I stared into the fast-darkening sunset and thought. My eyes drifted to a shadow cast upon one of the houses across the street. The shadow belonged to Maggie, slowly approaching the steps I was sat on. She took a seat on an empty space of the stair above the one I was sitting on, causing me to look up at her.

"Hey," She acknowledged with a half-smile.
"You should get some rest," I argued, staring into the, now almost fully dark, sky. It was silent for a few moments.
"Did you ever go back?" She ignored my argument. "Home. The farm. Did you try to find us there?"
"Mags.." I started, earning a stern and expecting glare from her. I sighed.
"Yes. I did." I looked back at her.
"Well, I tried.." She looked at me with curious eyes.
"Place was filled with dead ones. Barn was burned to the ground. Could barely walk two feet without risking your life."
I scoffed, looking back to the sky.
"So you gave up?" I heard from
behind. "You figured we were dead?"
"I didn't know this was 20 Questions," I  retorted, still not facing her. I heard her snicker from behind me.
"C'mon," She insisted.

I thought and turned to face her, finally.
"I didn't give up. It wasn't my choice, at least. I was with a group at the time. Told them there was supplies back at home, of course I didn't call it that. Told 'em it was an abandoned farm I'd seen. When we got there and it was overrun, and the barn was destroyed as well as the house, they assumed I was feeding 'em lies. Jackasses. Practically dragged me out of that place to who-knows-where. Stopped in the middle of the woods and just abandoned me there."
I paused to look down.
"At that point I had no idea where I was. Lost track of home. Lost track of everything, really."
"And you've been out there alone since then?"
I thought it was safe to assume there was no end to her questions. "Not necessarily," I pursed my lips, reliving past memories after trying to forget them for so long. "After that, I was alone for a while. About three months. But then I started seeing these signs. For a 'sanctuary', or that's what they called it. I ignored the first couple signs I saw. But they started showing up more frequently, everyday I walked. It seemed my only chance, so I gave in."
Maggie seemed off, as if she were trying to connect my story together like puzzle pieces.
"I, uh," I struggled to continue, as Maggie's expression was throwing me off.
"I-I went there, and it was...gone. Overthrown. Destroyed. Walkers everywhere. People screaming, running. Bullets going off in every direction. Didn't go much as a foot in front of the breached fence."
Maggie stared.
"And then?" She was back to her normal focus.
"I knew, or I thought that I knew, that everyone was dead in there. I started to leave when an old lady with dark red hair and a teenage boy came across me." I sighed and closed my eyes. I couldn't even remember their names.
"They were unarmed and scared. They explained to me how they were from the fallen 'sanctuary'. I joined them, rather they joined me, for a little while. They were quite friendly. But...they didn't make it." I half-frowned.

I turned to Mags after a long period of silence in which I expected her to say something. She stared with wide eyes.
"That's it? You're tellin' me that's it. That's your whole story," She said, frustrated.
"Mags..." I hesitated.
"I'll tell you the rest later. I promise."
She held out her pinky in front of my face. I laughed.
"Are you serious?" I raised my eyebrows.
Her brows furrowed together at my reaction. "Dead serious," She said, obvious.
I gave her another distasteful look.
"What? We used to do this all the time." Her eyes had a hopeful gleam in them.
"Yeah, when I was eight." I laughed.
The smile somewhat faded from my face, as the remark reminded me of how much Maggie still doesn't know about me. How much I've changed since I was younger. Since the last time she saw me. I waved the thought away.

She pouted, gesturing me to hold up my pinky. I sighed and slowly lifted my pinky up. She grinned. "Right, now promise you'll explain the rest to me later."
I smiled, extending my pinky and connecting it with hers.
"I promise."