Finding my Fangirl

Fuzzy Memories

(Y/N)'s P.O.V

I've spent what feels like an eternity in this inky darkness. Memories will pass every so often. The odd thing is ... there are places and people that I can't remember. I'll see their face and I just can't seem to place a name. I was sent all the way back to my birth. It's so weird that I can't remember what looks like a current event and yet ... I can remember what being birthed was like.

I come out of my mother's womb; all sticky, gross, and pretty upset I was basically kicked out of my home for nine months. What really weirds me out is that the mother who held me looks nothing like the mother I had come to known. She looked exactly like me. She looked so kind and welcoming. From what I can assume: my father is taking pictures of me. He looks kind of similar to me; our noses are definitely similar.

Why can I remember this? Why are some things fuzzy and yet ... yet others aren't fuzzy? Why can't I place a name?! God! Why? What in the world happened to me after the darkness? Why can I only hear voices?! When will I be free of the inky darkness that is holding me here?! I want to finally be able to see Mackenzie again. I want to somehow live a semi-normal life. I know that's a lot to ask for but please! Please! I really wish I could know what to do...

I've figured out one thing though ... I am in a hospital. I must be the patient because time to time I can feel a pain in my shoulder. They all seem to be so worried about me, as if I'm in a life or death situation. I wonder if I am going to die, and I'm only allowed to see my memories slowly fade in and out.

What am I going to do?

Mark's P.O.V

Again. Here I am stuck in the waiting room. I think I am going to have a nervous break down if I don't get any news on (Y/N). They won't tell us anything. All they can do is sit there with the information on my girlfriend that they keep teasing me with. Don't they know they're killing me with this? Don't they know I can't stand not knowing if my girlfriend is going to be okay?

Christi and Blayne were the ones who would leave and come back whenever they could. Christi was pregnant after all and Blayne still had work. They would come by whenever Christi would feel well and would usually have food from somewhere to give us. Mackenzie, Dylan, and I were staying at the hospital. I didn't want to be away, especially if something important were to happen. Mackenzie and Dylan were only here to keep me in check embarrassingly enough. I hated that I had to have them here so I wouldn't lose my temper, but I can't control myself.

My fans have been very supportive. Some of the obsessive fan girls even apologized for their behavior on my past few videos. I am the luckiest man in the world to have such amazing and supportive fans. I'm so glad they understand how upset I am about all that's happened. I let my head fall in my hands, I feel so dull and hopeless. I need her to be okay, she's my everything, she's my world. I never want to love anyone else, all I want to love is her.

All I want is to see her beautiful (eye color) once again. To hold her once more in my arms. To kiss those beautiful lips and see her beautiful smile once more. Isn't not seeing her for seven months torture enough?! Isn't watching her slowly faint as she finally breaks away from that hell hole enough?! I guess I'm doomed to be stuck in these awful positions, slowly waiting for the day when I can finally talk to my love. Is this what being damned for eternity is?

I feel a stern tap on my shoulder and see the doctor looking at me expectantly. His glasses balanced on the bridge of his nose and his grey eyes weren't the most comforting sight to look at. His neatly combed short, black hair was combed off to one side.

"Yes?" I ask; trying to quell the hope that was quickly rising up inside me like an underground spring.

"Your girlfriend just got out of the infirmary after the removal of the bullet and repairing of the bone and damaged skin." He states; emotion clearly lacking in his tone which quickly deflated any hopes of good news.

"And?" I ask; definitely harsher than I intended it to be. He seems surprised by my tone which makes me even more upset. He can't expect me to be super positive towards him given the fact that he's been withholding information from me.

"She appears to be stable. The only thing we need to worry about now is her waking up. We will have to see if she will. And even then we will have to worry about rehabilitation, her body endured a horrific amount of pain. It will take a long period of time for her to fully recover from all the damage." His voice trails off as his eyes look at me. It seems he feels pitiless, emotionless, as if nothing will sway him to at least have the heart to say 'I'm sorry' , or 'is there anything I can do?'.

My eyes narrow as I stare at him. I can't help but be resentful towards him. He wasn't the first doctor to be put in charge of (Y/N)'s health and overseeing her medical procedures. But he was by far the douchiest douchebag she's had. The first had been so much more compassionate and understanding than this cold-hearted, stern one.

"Thank you." I manage to utter through gritted teeth. He scoffs and walks into another room, his ego not his attitude faltering. Once I see he is out of earshot I groan. I'm not sure how much more I can take of this. I'm sick of being stuck here waiting for some news just like an animal waits for food.

I sighin frustration and look at the time. The clock on the walk that kept ticking away the minutes read 10:30. Another day had gone by, (Y/N)'s surgery had taken almost all day. I wonder if they skin graphed the gaping wounds she had on her back and stomach? I'm sure they had done something to repair those wounds. That's where most of the blood was draining from.

I decide that it's time to head to my room upstairs. They told me it was the closest they could get me to (Y/N)'s room, that eased my mind a little and it helped me sleep better knowing that I was next to my (Y/N).

Once I'm in my room, I check my phone. I had a dozen missed calls. Two were from my mother, a few more were from Rin, another was from the Italian jeweler, and the rest were from my distant family that had met (Y/N) at the party. They must have heard what had happened and wanted to know of she was okay. I couldn't help but smile at the fact that my family cared. I was glad that (Y/N) had also gained their love and affection. I couldn't wait to tell (Y/N) once she woke up.

I smiled content my at the thought and changed into some light shorts. Folding my clothes neatly into drawers they had there for me and get in bed. I grab my tiny box Tim plush and turn on the TV, turning it to Criminal Minds. I watched as the mystery of why girls who had acidic properties spilled on one of their senses end up in dumps and homeless people spots unravels and I soon enough feel my eyelids grow heavy.

I turn the TV off and yawn, closing my eyes and letting sleep take over my body. Maybe things would get better tomorrow.

(Y/N)'s P.O.V

The pain in my shoulder hurts like hell now. I wish I could understand what the hell happened to me. I wish I could understand why I'm floating and watching memories replay over and over again with little chance. I just hope I'll be able to get out of here soon...