Not your CUP of tea

The Lady Singer

Back when we were grade 4 and grade 6.

I saw you once I went down to the cafeteria. That's when I first learned the meaning of crush. You're so cute that I can not help smiling.

Highschool and I still look forward on seeing you. Every day I had to find a way to see you. That's what you did to me, you wouldn't let me sleep at night.

Your graduation day came and I'm in my sophomore year. It entered my mind that maybe I will not see you again therefore I tried to forget you.

There's no day passed that I would miss a chance to see you. I want to always be visible. I feel so down without you. Maybe what I feel is love, but I know all the way I shouldn't let it lead to that state.

It is enough for me to see you every day. Although I'm dying just to know your name.

One day I woke up with the sound of construction of a church near our home.

"A small chapel" my father says. And to my delight, you're one of the choir!

My heart can't stop pounding, It feels like heaven and earth touch each other.

I have long waited for this opportunity, You're hand-reached but I did not have the courage to talk to you. I do not have the courage to be your friend because I fear rejection. I was afraid to hear rejection especially if you do it. It's enough for me to stare at you from the distance.

In my two years left to finish highschool, I didn't see you at school anymore except at the small church near our house. Up to that time I still did not know your name even though your friends with my brother.

Difficult?

Yes but I don't care. That's how I love a person, quietly.

I left for Bicol. Wishing that the day would come that I no longer remember you. Not thinking of you before I sleep and don't try to draw you so I can't forget your face.

I tried six months to forget you. Promise I really tried.

I returned to Manila to attend college. I made up my mind that I've forgotten what I feel for you. I had boyfriends, lover and flirtations to forget you.

But why choose sunday? Of all the days in a week?

How stupid I am. How stupid I am because just a glimpse of your smile, everything came back.

Seven years since I first saw. Seven years of wanting you to like me. Seven years I waited for you to notice. Seven years of fooling myself because I like you that much.

Why does your crush doesn't like you?

Because as long as you're not working the way you percieve it, nothing will happen.

That's what I learned.
First crush
First love
First heartbreak

But even so, I'm happy.
Atleast, even though you know that I like you, you just let me.

And I'm happy with that.