The Traumatized Girl

Scared of home

Next morning

Joseline POV...

I arrived home and I was scared. But I knew that I had to get myself together and stand up for myself. I'm fighting back I'm tired of being unhappy. When Neem unlocked the door I immediately ran to my room and locked the door. I heard footsteps come upstairs and I instantly got nervous. "Look Jos, I know you're scared but i'm not going to hurt you". I just stood on the other side of the door and remained silent. " Joseline please.. " It was still quiet. But then I decided to speak. "How do you think I feel? I do not trust you anymore and I never will". " I know i'm sorry. Can you please let me in?" This nigga must be crazy. "Fuck no". " Joseline, open the fucking door... Now". I slowly opened the door and he busted right through staring at me."I want to stop but I can't, I love you but not as a sister Jos. You have to understand". I was shocked my older brother had feelings for his little sister? How fucking disgusting. I can't even think straight right now. "W-what? You have to be kidding me Neem. How can you have feelings for me? I'm your little sister". He just sat there, burning a hole through my skin. And before I knew it he tackled me to the bed. " I honestly just want to fuck you all the time. I can't help it". I lowly gasp and tried to get out of his grip."Ima just do this one last time". He said kissing lightly on my neck. I squirmed around trying to get out of his grip. But he wouldn't budge. "Shh.. Relax. Let me enjoy my last time". I cried and let it all happen. I let it all happen because that's all I've been able to do. All that fighting was a waste.

A waste of time...

I just layed here ... In my bed... Alone... With my eyes filled with tears. I should've been told the doctors that I needed help. Gosh i'm so stupid. I can't live like this nomore and I constantly say that to myself. But I never do anything. So now here I am, laying in this bed. And in this house. This place that I never would want to come back too.

I was letting my thoughts flow through my head while staring off to the side at my fan. Hearing it softly buzz and watching it blow my curtains. The cool air from it filled the room. Watching that sort of relaxed me. I heard a knock on the door. I groaned in annoyance. I hate being interrupted when i'm in deep thoughts.

"What?". I said , clearly irritated. "Ayo open this door, right now"."No, i'd rather not". I got up and went into the bathroom and locked the door. I heard the door bang open." Fuck I forgot". This nigga always had ways to bust my door down. Whether its locked or unlocked. He banged on the bathroom door. "Joseline... I'm not fuckin playin' , open... the door". I opened the door growing tired of his 'aggressiveness'. Shit was aggravating to be honest. " What... ". I said " We need to talk". "Why?" What the fuck he gotta say now? "Please Joseline... Listen to me". I looked down. " No. I'm tired of letting you take control. So how bout' YOU listen to me". He just stood there ... Quiet. "I'm your little sister , how does molesting her and beating on her make u feel? You disgust me. And I want to get out of this house. Today, I want to leave". I said. "Mmm ok... So u trynna leave me now?" I scoffed. "The fuck u mean? You the reason I wanted to kill myself! I just got out the hospital because of you! So what the fuck do u mean?" After that he slapped me and I fell to the floor holding the side of my face from the stingy sensation."You real dumb". He said and walked out.

I just sat in my bathroom crying. Cussing myself out. And wondering why I didn't tell anyone about this. It just boils my blood at the fact that I had a chance to get out of this mess..... But I had to be so fuckin stupid and scared...

I'm done. I'm going to the police....

~Breezy