Impractical One Shots - Joker(X)Joker

Do you trust me? MurrGatto

Murr's PoV

"Don't you trust me Joey?" i questioned, my heart aching in fear that he would say no, my hands shook as i lifted then to cup his face, desperate for him to look at me.

"I-" he sighed in reply "I don't know James" he conceded "No, I do trust you, I-Well - I want to trust you" he added, flustered as he stepped backwards from me and rubbed his face vigorously with his hands "I just don't know Murray" he sighed as he sunk onto the edge of the sofa.

"Baby..please-" i cautiously stepped towards him "i need you to trust me" i added, fear was clearly evident in my tone, i felt like he was slipping away from me and i just couldn't allow that.

"How can i trust you James? when you've been lying to me for weeks, sneaking around behind my back, seeing your ex.. how am i supposed to just put that out of my mind and blindly trust you?" Joe spoke, his tone raising as i watched the anger that he had been holding back bubble to the surface.

"its-" i began "it's not what James?" Joe cut me off before i could finish as he rose to his feet and took a step towards me, i could see the lines of anger etched on his face but there was still a softness in his eyes, i could see clearly that i had broken him, that i had fucked up big time and that there may be no coming back from this.

"It was a mistake Joey, It meant nothing and it only happened once" i tried to defend myself but even i knew it was a lost cause, i had fucked up the minute i had agreed to meet up with my ex Stephy. I knew that nothing good would come of it yet i made the decision to go ahead and meet up with her anyway. I have no idea why, i'm in love with Joe, i have been for as long as i can remember and we were good, we were happy.. but now he's hurt and i'm scared.. and there's no one to blame but me.

"But it DID happen.. it happened and you cant take that back anymore. it was no accident that you willingly agreed to meet your ex girlfriend, get drunk with her and then fuck her!" Joe spat ad he turned away from me, i couldn't see him but i knew the tears were falling from his eyes. fuck.

"Joe, i'm so- i'm so sorry.." i spoke, voice cracking as the tears welled up behind my eyes "please don't leave me..please" i dropped to my knees in front of him as he turned to face me, my face in my hands as i cried, my body wrecked with sobs, my heart aching at the thought of how he felt because of me, my brain reeling as it mentally scolded itself for agreeing to meet that awful woman.

i mean i didn't even like her when we were together, she was nothing in comparison to my joey..nothing. so why was i so stupid? why the fuck would i jeopardize the best thing to happen to me for some ratchet.

"I don't want to leave you, but right now i can't stay.. i'm sorry" he spoke as he grabbed his coat and walked out the door.

This was it, he was gone, he had left me. I did this. This was all my fault. i had lost him for good, why the fuck was i so stupid as to let this happen, how could i be so fucking stupid. I lay There on the floor a sobbing mess, mentally berating myself for being so stupid, for ruining Joe, for ruining myself. Fuck. he was gone and i was done.