Impractical One Shots - Joker(X)Joker

Healing -JostGatto

!!Trigger Warning!!

request for @its_only_me_lucifer

Casey's POV

"Hello, and welcome to impractical insider" I beamed to the camera, it had been a long day on set and Joe had just been punished and was currently walking around painted blue and dressed like a genie.

"Don't you have anything better to do Casey" Sal teased as he glanced up from his phone at me, although his voice was thick with sarcasm and humour it had been a long week of being punching bag to the guys and everything was just getting a little bit too much for me.

"Give me a break Sal." I sighed in reply and went about my business, describing the set to the camera and having a few quick chats with the crew about how it was out together. I walked to Joe to 'interview' him about how the punishment was for him.

"Not now Jost!" Joe yelled before I could even open my mouth "Get your fuckin cameras out my face man" he growled. My heart stung at the venom in his voice. The guys were forever pushing me around but Joe was the one who usually stuck up for me and was always on my side so hearing him speak to me like that, ripped at my heart.

I finished the episode and jumped in my car, needing to get out of there as soon as possible. I shut myself in my car and broke down, tears streaming down my face as I slammed my hands into my steering wheel again and again. I couldn't take this anymore. I knew what I needed and what I needed was tucked away in my bathroom cabinet.

as soon as I had entered my house I made a beeline for the bathroom, locking the door behind me and resting my palms against the sink, my head dropping as the tears spilled from my eyes once more. I watched as the drops slid down the sink and into the drain.

I raised my head to look into the mirror. What I saw disgusted me. I was nothing special and I knew that, I had always known that, stupid face, stupid hair, bags under my puffy eyes "disgusting" I yelled at my reflection "why aren't you better" I scolded the person staring back at me, "you're not good enough!! you'll never be good enough" I screamed as my fist flew towards my reflection and the glass of the mirror shattered into pieces. I cried, harder than I had in years.

I pulled opened the broken cabinet and grabbed the small metal tin from behind the pills and slumped to the floor. I was a mess. I rested my back and head against the door, replaying every taunt and criticism I had received throughout my entire life. I opened the tin shakily and retrieved the cold silver blade.

I knew it was wrong, I knew that it wasn't an answer but it made me feel, I didn't want to die, I didn't want to live either but I certainly didn't want to kill myself, this was the only way I could keep control of my life. For me, this was a punishment, a punishment for every downfall and under achievement, for never being enough.

I took the blade and pressed it against the exposed skin of my wrist, careful to avoid the faint healed scars of previous "punishments", I took a deep breath and dragged the blade against my skin, watching as the blood drops formed across the torn skin. I repeated this, slicing my wrist a further three times before dropping the blade and collapsing into the fetal position, tears wracking my body as I retreated into myself.

I don't know how long I lay there, but after my tears ran dry and my body went numb I knew I had to pull myself together. I stood for the bathroom floor and grabbed my first aid kit, I sterilized the blade and placed it back into the tin and into the cupboard. I cleaned my wounds and bandaged them up before going to my bedroom and collapsing onto my bed.

Joe's POV

For the past three days Casey hadn't been himself. I don't think anyone else had noticed but I knew Casey, probably better than anyone else and I could tell his real smile to that fake on he had painted on this morning. He always jokes that no one notices him, but I always notice him.