The Reason Why

Til' Death Do Us Part

It was the day of the funeral. I got up and cried. It was like this for a while. Every day for the last two weeks, I get up and cry. I just see the bed my sister used to sleep in and the things she had. After I cried for a little, I got dressed, since it was the funeral I got on my black dress. She always loved that dress, she said it brought out the color in my eyes. My eyes are a deep brown, almost black so its hard to see colors sometimes. I did my hair, I straightened it and then curled it, then put it up. I also put in her favorite headband. It was black with red roses on it. It also had the words "Guns N' Roses." Mom said she couldn't have the one with the guns on it, so she got this one. Guns N' Roses where one of her favorite bands. Dad thought it was a really bad influence because of all the pot they smoked and all the drugs they did. Then there was all the swearing in their songs and all of the sex talk. "No, I am not taking you to a Guns N' Roses concert. One, there will be too many people smoking pot. Two, they say fuck every other word. Three, it's too much money," he would always say. Man, I wish I would have stuck up for her. If not a GNR concert, she wanted to go to a Metallica concert. She was really into heavy metal, rock, punk, 80's rock kind of stuff. Me, I always thought it was a little weird with all of the sex and drug talk, but now, I don't know. I'm not the same. I'm not as innocent.

After I was ready I realized that this us my final goodbye. This is it. Wow, I never thought that it would end this way. I looked in the mirror. I have sent my whole life trying to make people like me, when I should have focused on my friends and family. She lived her life trying to be different and make a difference.

I walked past my parents room and I saw them sitting there, holding each others hands and crying. I walked past my brothers room and he was sitting on his bed with a picture of Tay. My brother never cried. He was always on his Game Boy or doing other nerdy things. I get it though. Taylor May is gone. She is gone. Forever. Never coming back. Never seeing her again. We drove over and I saw her casket, I felt the years running down my face. I never got to say goodbye. What they hell is wrong with me. I can't stop crying.

People started coming in slowly. Every one of them with a sullen look on their face. None as sad as mine. Everyone in mangling while me and my brother stand side by side staring into space. "You know that it will be okay" he says. Instate at him. He hasn't ever done anything like this. "Thanks," I said. He grabbed my hand for comfort. The priest started the funeral. Everything he said just flew right past me. I didn't really care. Everything he said didn't even relate to her. He does know her.... Or didn't know her. Then my parents came up and talked a little about her. Her boyfriend and her couple friends that she had came and said something. Then it was my turn. I stood up. "Um, hi, I'm Lex. I'm Taylor's sister. Tay would come home crying. Life was not good to her. I hated it, it broke my heart every day. I hated it. Life fucked her up and I hated it!" my parents looked up. "everyone gave her a hard time and the only thing that could comfort her was talking it out and her music. No one would listen to her but me. But me... Then I couldn't even see she was depressed." a tear ran down my face. "Yea, she might not have been perfect, but she tried. She tried so damn hard and life gave her a boat load of what in return. We always said we would stay together. No matter what. Til' death do us part. And hey look," I gave a faint sarcastic smile, "it did." I wiped a tear from my face as I vigorously walked away and sat in my seat.

Everyone stared at me. Then the rest went on. Everyone left, everyone forgot. Just like I knew they would. People can move on with their lives like that. Not me. I will never forget you. I will never forget you, my sweet Taylor.