The Reason Why

A New Beginning

The school day ends and I light a cigarette as I walk out of school. Blaine runs up to me and grabs my hand. 

"Hey, I didn't see you after lunch," he looks at me worriedly. 

"Didn't feel like it," I shrug him off. I don't feel like doing much of anything these days. The thoughts consume me and eat away at my will to do daily activities. Each day another small part of me gets lost. I take a long drag of my cigarette and flick the end. 

"Park?" Blaine asks. My teeth grind at the thought of going to the park. The last thing I want to do is be around people. Then again, the thought of feeling numb and high is so appealing. I long for the times when I feel nothing because it is better than what I feel every day. 

Blaine and I head to the park where we sit on the edge of a wooden structure; our feet dangling ten feet off the ground. Blaine hands me a white circular pill from a bottle I can only guess he stole from his father who had been in a bad accident a year back. I grind some bud and pack it in a blue bowl. I take the lighter out of my pocket and take a long hit. The smoke burns the back of my throat, but through my pain, I feel freedom and relief.

I take another drag of my cigarette in between hits of the bowl. As I lay back I feel like I begin to float. My spirit lifts out of my body and I swirl around Blaine. Blaine, my love, my life. I give him a kiss and our souls intertwine. Our hands reach out and I let him go as I float away. 

As I float into the sky a face starts to form. Tay. My beloved sister. I gasp and a tear dips down my face. 

"Taylor? Is that really you?" I yell.

"Yes Meegan, it is." Our arms wrap around each other as I burst out into tears. I haven't felt happiness since she died. My heart is overjoyed with the sound of her voice. 

"I- I can't believe I am here with you. I haven't gone a day without the thought of you." I explain.

"I know, Meegan. I have seen you." She has been watching me. I smile knowing that she has been looking down upon me. With those words I know I can never leave her again. There is no where else I would rather be than with her. She takes my hand and leads me up higher until we aren't on Earth anymore. 

I look down and see Blaine next to my body. He is holding me and tears are running down his face. My Blaine... My heart hurts knowing that he will have to go through a fraction of what I went through with Tay, but I cannot leave her again. I take one final look at my life I am leaving behind and look forward, smiling for the first time in a long time. I breathe in the cool, refreshing air, and breathe out despair.