Friendship; Unlikely.

Chapter 4: Forget it

   
    No. No. Absolutely not. I refuse to believe it. Thomas is my best friend. I was just talking to him. Less than 10 hours ago. Oh my God no. This can't be happening. "Sam? Samantha? Honey, talk to me. I'm going to buy you a ticket back home as soon as possible. Okay? We need to talk about a lot of things." Oh my gosh he was- he was driving me! It's my fault! I mean no, it's not but at the same time, it is. I can't breath but somehow I manage to find my voice. "Okay, I love you, I have to go. Bye." It's the quietest I've ever spoken in my life. I have no idea if he was even able to hear. I suppose it doesn't matter because I don't wait for his response. I just hang up. I slowly bend down to pick up all my things that I dropped when I sat back down.

   When I come back up I see a phone on Righty- I mean Harry's seat. I grab it without thinking and rush off the plane. Tears have filled my eyes but I'm not crying. Not yet. I just feel numb. I'm disgusted. I want to throw up. This can't be happening right now. I just moved to start my new dream and now... God I'm so selfish. Here I am thinking about me and my dreams. What about mom? That's her son. One of two sons. He's gone now.

   Oh my God he'll never get to graduate. He-he'll never get married. I have to stop walking when this thought hits me. Because it's as though it had physically hit me. The breath is sucked out of me and I stand still in the middle of this busy airport. I see a restroom sign and run. Faster then I've ever run in my life. I immediately find a trash can and throw up.

   People are starring but I pay no mind to them. I'm on the verge of spilling. I don't want to. I hate crying in front of people. I just want to go to the apartment I've arranged to stay in.
I hear a phone ringing and dig through my bag thinking it could be mom or dad. Though I quickly realize it's not my phone ringing. It's Harry's and if the screen is accurate, Louis's calling it. I answer before I can think.

   "Harry, mate,  it's still ringing, I'm telling you it's on the plane. You must have left it- Wait. It's not ringing anymore. Hello?" His voice is almost enough to distract me from this nightmare. "H-hi." I whisper. "Yeah um who's this? This is my friends phone and it seems you found it. He left it on an airplane." I'm not really hearing what he's saying, I just hum along. "So when can we pick it up? Where are you?" I really can't talk right now. I can only make out a few sentences before I hang up. I tell him I can't help him at the moment and I have to go.

   How could it all have gone down hill so fast? Everything was so fine, and now? I slide my back down the wall and I tuck my knees into my chest. I sit here for what feels like hours, then I look at the clock on the wall and realize it's been 30 minutes. Sighing I stand up and quickly get an uber. I then make my way as slow as possible to the baggage claim.

It's incredible to see all these people around me and how they all know nothing of me. So many faces, so many different things going on at once. It's fascinating how quickly this could all disappear within the blink of an eye. It's unreal, I'm in shock and in a panic. Yet I'm utterly calm. I feel like a puppet and someone else is pulling the strings, controlling me. I grab my bag and head for the door. Physically I'm outside, mentally I'm in the darkest place my mind has ever been. I feel like I've been gutted. Thomas was apart of me. Now he's... well he isn't here. I can't bring myself to say the real words. Not yet.

I get a call coming in and realize my Uber's here. I smile, hollowly at the man and immediately drop it once I'm in the back. "Where to?" I give him the address to the small apartment I'm staying in. It's only about a 15 minute drive, doesn't last long. As soon as I get there I make the bed and then immediately lay on it. Then I start crying. I mean hard sobs, that physically shake my body. I feel like I can't breath. I just lay on my bed in a fetal position crying. I cry my eyes out, and then cry some more. Soon I'm passed out.