My Life: A poetry Series

Dreams that are not dreams

I am asleep but awake

I can not move but I can shake

My dreams are not dreams

They are memories

I lie in my bed drenched in sweat

I feel like I'm dying but I'm not that lucky

I know it's coming and I can't stop it

Everything in my room is fading away

Suddenly I'm in that room again

The one they dragged me to

I smell hot alcohol tainted breath

It fills my nostril and makes me gag

Im shoved down onto a hard bed

Hot sticky lips trail my neck

I pull away and pain shoots through me

A fist lands in my stomach

And then finds it's way to my jaw

Trying to get up I'm only shoved back down

A hand clasps hard around my neck

Another holds my hands above my head

My shirt is torn off in seconds

I'm screaming and tears fill my eyes

More fists find my stomach

The body of the hands sits on my torso

Another pair of hand are on me now

Taking of my jeans and ripping my panties

I'm crying, begging for help

The hand on my neck tightens

The room is getting blurry

A third pair on hands are now roaming my battered body

These hands have a face with them

My boyfriend's face

I thrash my body in a feeble attempt

And a fist finds my face again

I can feel blood dripping from my mouth as I gasp for air

The hand on my neck is getting tighter

The room goes black

Screaming I shoot out of bed

I'm back in my room

My bed is covered in sweat

My clothes are on.

My sister bangs on my wall

"Hannah come on this is five nights in a row! Jesus!"

I lay back down and sob into my pillow.

Knowing another nightmare is coming soon