Denial

Chapter One: Denial

Reed

I let out a loud sigh as I stood up from the couch. "I need another beer. You want one?"

My roommate shook his head. "I think you've had enough, Reed."

"What the fuck do you know, Matt?" He doesn't know me. He doesn't know how much is too much.

I walked into our small kitchen and pulled open the fridge, just barely able to hear his reply. "Well, considering you've gone through the entire six pack by yourself in the last hour, I'd say you've had enough."

"I'm fine," I practically growled, and looked into the fridge. Sure enough, there was no more beer. "Fuck!"

Standing all the way back up, with the help of the door of the fridge, I realized two things. One: I was definitely drunk. Two: I couldn't let Matt be right. Not again.

I walked back out of the kitchen, conscious of walking in a straight line, and sank back down into the couch. Matt was at his desk, doing something on his laptop, not looking at me.

Yet he spoke anyway. "You saw him again today, didn't you?"

"What? I don't know what you're talking about." The only problem was that we both knew he was right about that.

I did see him today. And the only way I could think of to forget about him was to drink. A lot. Except I ran out of beer and my thoughts were still on him. That was never good.

I didn't like him. I wasn't a faggot like he was. I couldn't be.

"Where'd you see him?"

I sighed. "On my way from class. He was with that other faggot he calls a boyfriend. I don't even know why I bothered going today. I knew I was going to see him."

"Kyle is allowed to be on campus. He does go here too."

"Don't say his name!" It hurt too much to hear it. I thought Matt knew that. No, of course he doesn't. Because it's not true. I don't care about him at all.

"Sure you don't care," Matt said. Did I say that out loud? "That's why you drink yourself into a stupor every day because you saw him across the parking lot or whatever. Just accept it, man. You're in love with him and you're jealous that he's taken already."

I groaned, but didn't reply. Matt didn't know what he was talking about.

~

I must have drifted off to sleep at some point because I woke up when I heard Matt yell my name. I slowly opened my eyes, which made my head pound.

"Don't you have that class soon?"

"Ugh. I'm not going."

"Dude, seriously? Isn't this the one that you'll fail if you miss another one?"

"Shit." I got to my feet with extra care to stay standing. I couldn't afford to fail a class - I'd lose my scholarship and then I'd disappoint Mamá. I couldn't do that to her.

I somehow managed to make it to my class. I should have eaten dinner before coming, considering I wouldn't be getting out until close to nine tonight, but I didn't. Oh well. It's not like I had time to even think about food before anyway.

"Do you have an extra pen I could borrow?" a voice next to me asked.

I didn't even look at him. "No."

"Are you sure? You didn't even look."

Who did he think he was? Didn't he realize that I was not in the mood to talk? Or that I'm never in the mood to talk to random strangers or anyone, actually?

"I don't have any, so quit asking me."

"Wow, okay then. You didn't have to be so rude about it."

I finally turned to face him. He was kind of cute. Wait, what? No. I'm not gay. I'm into girls. Only girls. I can't think like that. I'm not a faggot.

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?"

I stared at him in confusion? "What?"

"You're staring, dude. Are you high or something?"

"Drunk," I admitted. Why did I tell him that? I didn't even know him! "And you're annoying."

He nodded his head. "That would explain the alcohol smell. I'm Quincy, by the way."

I faced the front of the classroom again. Where was this teacher? For the first time in my life I actually wanted class to start. "I don't care."

"Ouch. I'm just trying to be nice."

"Yeah? Well don't bother."

Why was this kid still talking to me? And why was I still answering?

"You just looked like you could use someone to talk to."

I tried ignoring him, I really did. There was silence between us for a full minute - I watched the clock. Was this teacher ever planning on showing up? "I don't need anyone. And definitely not you."

"I think you're in denial." I quickly glanced at him, but he was looking down, pulling out a notebook and a pen from his bag. I looked forward again before he could catch me looking. "You need a friend, then you might not get drunk in the middle of the day on a Tuesday."

"That's the best time to get drunk. And I'll have you know, I was with my friend while drinking." Okay, Matt wasn't really my friend. We lived well together, that was about it.

"Yeah? And were they drinking too?"

"Obviously." Maybe I was more pathetic than I thought I was, if I was making up lies like this. I needed another drink.

Just then, the teacher ran into the room, almost dropping the stack of papers she was trying to hold on to. "I'm so sorry I'm running late class!" I tuned her voice out almost immediately. Instead, I focused on how hot her body looked. She was probably one of the youngest members of the staff, and definitely the hottest. Why had I skipped so many of her classes already? Probably because it was so late and I was usually too drunk to come.

A movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I briefly looked over at that annoying kid to see him returning his arm to his desk. What did he just do?

I looked down at my own, and there was a pen and a sheet of paper. I never took notes in class, but maybe today was a good time to start, if only because I was given materials to take notes with.

I picked up the pen and started paying attention to the teacher - her voice this time. She was saying something about the civil war, or some nonsense like that. No, I should actually focus. I was taking notes today.

Two and a half hours later, class was dismissed. I ended up filling two whole pages with notes in my extremely crappy handwriting, the second piece of paper appearing at some point, just before I had finished with the first one. It was the most work I've done in a class in years, and my hand was hurting. But despite that, and the fact that I'm pretty sure I was still slightly hungover, I was happy.

For once in my life, I was happy.

"Hey, I never caught your name."

I groaned inwardly. I was almost out of the room. Almost free from his annoying voice and annoying face. But I stopped anyway, although I didn't turn to face him. "That's because I didn't give it to you." I had already forgotten his, so why would he need to know mine?

He came to stand in front of me, his arms across his chest. "How about we trade? You tell me your name and I won't ask you for my pen back that I know you stuffed into your pocket."

"The pen is already mine. So no deal." Without waiting to see his response. I pushed passed him and headed back to my room, my good mood returning as soon as he was out of my sight.

A/N: Hey guys! Welcome to Denial! This is a spin off from my book More Than Just Roommates. If you haven't read that one yet, I'd suggest you check it out if you haven't already, although you don't need to in order for this book to make sense. 

Please vote and comment! And enjoy :)