Denial

Chapter Nine: Snowed In

Reed

His words echoed through my head. Then I think you're gay, Reed.

You're gay.

I'm gay?

But that just wasn't possible.

I sighed, sinking down into the back of the couch. When did my life become such a fucking mess? I didn't understand anything that was going on anymore.

"Are you okay, Reed?"

My eyes snapped to the boy sitting next to me, the one who makes me act out in ways I never pictured myself acting before. I shook my head slowly. I didn't know if I was okay. I didn't know anything. And I sure as hell didn't know what I was feeling right about now.

There was one thing I did know, however. I wanted to kiss Quincy again.

As soon as the thought popped into my head, I knew that I couldn't do that.

Except I really, really wanted to.

So I did.

But the moment my lips pressed against his, reality set in again, and I pulled back, jumping to my feet.

"This can't happen," I said, although even I could hear the lack of confidence in my words. "I'm not-" I stopped, once again hearing his words echo through my head.

I started walking towards the door to just get out of this whole situation but Quincy grabbed my wrist to stop me, also getting to his feet. The contact sent a shiver down my spine, but I didn't pull away.

"You can't keep doing this to me, Reed," he said, his eyes looking almost sad.

I looked away from them. "I can do whatever the fuck I want to do."

He let out a small sigh. "Fine. But don't mess with my heart like this. Please."

How was I messing with his heart? I was just trying to figure myself out. He wasn't the one confused about this whole thing. He wasn't contemplating his feelings for me right now like I was towards him.

Instead of replying to that comment, I said, "I'm starving. Do you have any food here?" I pulled my arm out of his grasp and started walking towards the kitchen.

"Reed, wait!" I stopped and turned around, confused. "I have no food here. I'm sorry."

Glancing back at the kitchen, I could clearly see that it was stocked. Who calls that no food?

"That's all my roommate's stuff," Quincy answered my unspoken question.

I nodded my head slowly, although not completely understanding. I take Matt's food all the time. What's wrong with that?

But if Quincy didn't eat his roommate's food, then I wouldn't push it. I was still starving, so I was going to eat, no matter what.

As I was about to open my mouth to tell Quincy my new plan, I heard his stomach growl, so I changed what I was going to say. "Have you eaten yet?" It was getting close to eight at night. I knew why I hadn't eaten, but why didn't he?

He nodded his head, though. "I'm fine," he said, obviously lying. Why was he lying to me about this?

"We're going out to get food," I decided. "Come on." He raised an eyebrow at me as I started walking away. I stopped again, realizing what he was thinking. "Not a date. I don't date guys."

There was a hint of a smile in his eyes, which actually made him more attractive, if that was possible. I could also tell that he was thinking hard about the offer. There really wasn't that much to think about. We were hungry, so we were going to get food. Two guys, just hanging out. That's it.