I have a past but don't we all?
Usually people leave the bad things they've done in the past and let it go but me... I couldn't. I had to bring it with me. I brought it into my new life, my new relationship and now my marriage and its eating me up inside.
I just hope it doesn't catch up with me and kill me or my family.
You think you know me, but you really don't.
You might even go as far to say that I'm a bad person, but you don't know what happened. And even if you did, you'd still judge me.
~~~~~~~~
K E N D R A
____________I woke up when Patrick's alarm went off. Gosh, I hate that thing. He groaned as he reached over to cut it off. 6:00 a.m. Patrick had to be at work for eight and my oldest girl had to be at school for eight.
"Babe," Patrick groaned from his pillow.
"Nope, Pat. I'm not moving.."
"Let's just let Asha sleep and we sleep. We had a rough night last night."
"My appointment is at 1:30."
"We can take Asha to get that check-up that she missed. That way she'll have an excuse."
It all sounds so good. I hated to admit that I was thinking about it. "No.. No.. I really think she needs to be at school. She's doing really well and I don't want her to come home crying about being lost."
"Okay, you're right. I'll get her up so she won't miss the bus." He said as he got out of the bed and I rolled over the other way.
An hour later, Asha comes running in the room and small stomps were behind her.
"Well, mommy I'm off to school. The bus will be here shortly. Daddy made me breakfast." She hugged me, kissed my cheek and rubbed my belly. "And here's Layla! Bye Layla!" She hugged her too.
"Aash, you got your bookbag and your homework?"
"Yes ma!" She said while running out. "I'm gone!"
"I love you!"
"Love you too."
That made me smile and Layla looked over at me and smiled too.
"Come on, baby girl. Come lay down with mama." I said as I reached over and picked her up. We both laid back down and she closed her little eyes.
Asha was quite the talker. She loved to talk and was talking way before we could understand what she was saying. She's such her father's child with all the talking and all the energy she has. But Layla was the calm one. She didn't cry, she just smiled and she talked when she felt it was necessary I guess.
Eva on the other hand, seems as if she's going to be just like Asha, active. All she did was move around.
Patrick came in the room with breakfast. "Okay my love, oh." He seen that Layla was now here. "My loves, here's breakfast. Asha's gone and my LayLay is sleepy." He placed the tray of food on my lap when I sat up and kissed Layla.
"I'm about to leave myself, call me if you have any trouble. Call my job at 12:30. And I love you," he said as he put on his coat. "Eat up." He kissed me before leaving.Patrick was an overall great husband and father. The best thing that a girl could ever ask for and the best dad my girls could have. If he were to end up raising the girls alone, I knew I would have nothing to worry about. Nothing at all. I smiled just thinking about it.
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