Game On

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Focus and resolve

Despite the late night John was awake by 08:00 am , for a few seconds he was completely disorientated by his surroundings then memory came flooding back. He felt heavy hearted because he knew he could not pursue any kind of bonding with Ellie-May , it would be too unfair to cause her so much pain and heartbreak not to mention the fact that it would totally destroy all of his plans . He got dressed and went to the living room where he had remembered seeing a note pad and pen by the phone . He wrote a note explaining that he was going out of state on 'business' for a while and hoped to see her again on his return , again thanking her for a wonderful evening . He folded the note and placed it in the middle of the coffee table , as he did this he remembered his own note on his own table , it felt like that was such a long time ago but the rage started to build as the memories engulfed his mind , As quietly as he could he left the house and headed back to where he would find a cab to get home .

The rest of the day was a mess of conflicting emotions , on one hand he had this wonderful woman who had come into his life like a ray of sunshine , she had shown so much understanding of his loneliness and pain , she had made him feel wanted for the first time in a long time , and he too felt the strong pull of mutual attraction , both physical and emotional . one the other hand was his master plan to show the world of gaming that you cannot screw your customers and remain unpunished , the darkness in his head was seeming stronger than any desires for love or intimacy . he resolved to stay out of the public eye for at least a few days while he fought to control head over heart , this was turning out to be so much more difficult and complex than he had first thought .

Forcing all thoughts of Ellie-May from his mind he turned to his lap top and continued his research . he studied the plans and schematics for the target building and learned a lot , he studied various chemical reactions involving water and he knew now how he would seal the building from access on the final day , he still needed to figure out how to deploy that part of the plan but was confident that it would work . Now it was time for him to start listing his grievances in detail and scripting the final day , as with his passion for cooking , presentation was everything .

Over the coming months he sourced all the equipment he was going to need , the list seemed endless and all in all he spent over $600,000 .00 , he had spread his purchases out over as many different outlets as possible so not to attract too much attention , the sheer quantity of firearms and ammunition that he bought was enough in itself to raise concerns had he not been in Texas and had he not spread them across over 70 retailers . during this time he had allowed himself to meet up with Ellie-May about once every month , always being careful to time his visits to coincide with her work shifts , the friendship blossomed but he was always careful to avoid any level of romance , they had not hugged since that first time nor had he returned to her home at any point , instead he kept everything on an almost business level , he was very much aware that she had very definite romantic notions towards him as she regularly asked if the would ever get the chance to go to dinner or a movie , though she never used the word 'date' he knew it was what she wanted , he fought hard to control his emotions where she was concerned , he knew that he could fall in love with her so very easily and he knew that she was experiencing similar thoughts and emotions but he was able to keep it all at arms length with constant 'business trips' and the like . in truth most of his alleged trips away actually meant that he stayed within the farmhouse and let her believe he was out of state , this constantly made him feel bad , she was everything a man could want and he was the man that she wanted , in a different life they would have been so happy together , but in this life it would never be , the darkness in his head seemed to mock the longing in his heart but he did not  mind too much  , most of his life he had felt awkward around the opposite sex and the voices in his head had mocked for as long as he could remember , this was familiar territory and as such easy to ignore.