Hockey Imagines

29. Jesse Puljujärvi (Oulun Karpat #9)

This one was written for Storiesaretold and her prompt was 'Y/N has a miscarriage'. This one was sad to write but I enjoyed it and I hope you do too!
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Sorry I haven't been updating all the time. Super busy currently with not enough time to breathe let alone write.
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Jesse Puljujärvi
Being engaged to a hockey player is an interesting experience. Being pregnant however was something else.
"I can't wait to get this little one home and in my arms." Jesse says giving me a little kiss on the forehead.
"Yeah, the baby has been giving me a hard time so I am looking forward to meeting the monster inside." I giggle at Jesse's face. He looks mortified with me calling our little one a monster.
"The baby is not a monster! How dare you." I shake my head and give Jesse a kiss.
"I love you," he smiles.
"I love you too."
"Do you think it's a girl or a boy?"
"Well, I'm hoping for a boy but a little princess wouldn't hurt." His eyes light up as we talk more and more about our little baby that will be coming in the next few months.
"Oh yes, you would love a little princess to spoil."

"I would love that," his smile gets larger and larger than before.

"You'll make an amazing father. You'll teach them Finnish and how to play hockey. The absolutely best combination." I place my hand on my baby bump.

"And you my dear will teach them the lovely language that you speak and teach them all of your secret skills." He laughs lines beside his eyes appearing. I honestly hope that our child has Jesse's looks. That would be a blessing!

Later tonight the two of us stay up late ordering things for the baby and their room.

"That will look so cute in there." I gush over a rocker.

"Definitely." I feel a sharp pain in my stomach and rub it softly.

"Jesus baby, calm down." Jesse's face turns into a look of horror.

"You're not on your period are you?" he asks and I look at him like he's lost my mind.

"I'm pregnant so no. Why would you think that?"

"Because you're bleeding." he says and I look down in panic.

"We need to go to the hospital now." I meet Jesse's eyes and he looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

"You didn't lose it right?" he quickly gets out of bed as I follow.

"I don't know! I hope not!" We quickly speed to the hospital.
"My wife is pregnant and somethings wrong with the baby!" Jesse practically screams inside the nearly jam packed emergency room. They nurse quickly finds a gurney and gets me into it before getting me to the ultrasound room. Jesse stands beside me as a technician puts the jelly on my stomach.
"It'll be alright Jess," I whisper trying to keep the both of us calm. The technician looks around for a bit before going to get the doctor.
"That's not a good thing is it?" He asks as she leaves.
"I don't think so in all honesty. Hopefully everything is okay with our little one."
The doctor and technician come back in and he takes a look. The doctor makes a noise and before he can get out the words I start crying.
"The baby's gone isn't it?" I ask meeting the eyes of the sympathetic doctor.
"I am afraid that you have in fact had a miscarriage. Would you like to find out the gender at least?" Without even looking a Jesse I had my answer.
"Please." I finally catch eyes with Jesse and he's almost in tears. His baby is gone, taken from him in the blink of an eye.
"Yes please," Jesse answers and the doctors motions for the technician to show us the gender.
"It was a boy." She says softly showing us our unborn child. Never to be brought into life.
The ride home was silent and I couldn't help the tears from falling. I let Jesse down, I let our families down who have been wishing for a grand baby ever since Jesse and I got married and I absolutely let myself down. Was I not taking care of myself? Did I do something wrong? This was all my fault.
"I'm sorry," I whisper slipping off my shoes as we got inside our cold, empty, lifeless home. Jesse looks at me with a clearly upset look on his face.
"Why would you need to be sorry?" He asks softly before walking towards me and taking me in his arms.
"Because I lost the baby," I whimper a stream of hot tears threatening to fall once again.
"No, no baby." He starts his voice dropping to barely a whisper. "You couldn't have done anything... Nothing." He whispers kissing my forehead as we swayed in the kitchen.
"I could've been healthier. I could've done something so the baby didn't die. Jesse, so I didn't have a miscarriage." I cry in despair and at the loss of our baby boy. "I killed Jesse Jr." I whimper snuggling into his warm chest. I hear him sigh and then he lifts me up beginning to carry me to our bedroom I presume.
"Jess, our sheets."
"Okay, I'll put new ones on." He sets me down in our recliner chair and I open my eyes to see him taking off our bed sheets.
"I love you daddy Puljujärvi." I sniffle wiping my eyes. He stops and faces me with tears in his own eyes.
"I love you too mommy Puljujärvi."
"So are we going to try again in a few months?" I ask with a smile.
"Of course. Can't and won't stop until we have one."
"Good idea J."
A couple months after the loss of our baby we got the incredible news that we're expecting another baby.