five | big bang theory

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by colourdeaf

by colourdeaf

f i v e

big bang theory — a prevailing cosmological model that describes how the universe expanded from a high density and high temperature state; highly contradicts the Bible's story of creation

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"IS...IS THAT a rosary on your neck?" I raised one perfectly groomed brow as I trudged down the stairs wearing a pair of fuzzy bunny slippers.

Almost on instinct, West's hands shot to his necklace

He furrowed his brows, "Yes, is there a problem?"

"You're a Catholic?"

"I don't like putting labels but yes, I do believe in God." He shrugged as if it was nothing but the firmness in his tone suggested otherwise.

"Well, you've always been one with many beliefs but never did I expect this from you." I led us back upstairs and pushed the slightly ajar door. "Sorry again for the mess. Told you we should have just gone to your house to study."

His eyes darted around my forest of a room. My eyes widened as I subtly kicked the red underwear under the bed.

West sat on my bed despite all the mess on it–random books, leather jacket, used clothes—and looked back at me.

"What do you mean you did not expect it from me?"

I pulled my old dusty chair from the corner and I swung one leg on the left side and one on the other facing the back of the chair .

"Well, duh. Aren't all Science geeks supposedly against the existence of God and believe that 'Beng-Beng' theorem or whatever." He blinked before he burst into fits of laughter as he laid on the bed.

He rose from the bed and was greeted by my scrunched up face, "It's The Big Bang Theory, Iceland. Not Beng-Beng."

"Isn't that the name of the tv series?" I questioned.

He nodded in response, "Exactly. It was named after that theory because the characters were physicists who specialize in quantum physics and the show generally focuses on Science-related themes."

Before I could response though, he spoke up again. "But no, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and just because I love Science, does not mean I believe every single theory there is."

"Why?" I said no farther than a whisper.

He smiled as if he was enjoying some secret joke while staring into nothingness, "You're an atheist, aren't you?" He turned his head back to me.

I looked away from him.

"I'm an agnostic. I wouldn't want to believe the idea that someone was in charge of why my life is like this. No matter how much the idea of putting the blame on others sounds appealing. I couldn't take it that this God was helping the people around me but somehow this God has forgotten me." Just like everyone else.

That was five weeks after Mr. Ross had set us up for the tutoring sessions and you stood up and hugged me as if you have known me your entire life.

West, I tell you, that was one of the best feelings in this world. To be held tightly in your arms as I laid my head on your chest.

And for the first time ever, I wanted to believe that there was a God. I wanted to get to know this God of yours.

You made me want to believe in God because fuck, how could someone like you exist? How could someone like you love someone like me?

And when you were seconds away from slipping away, I kneeled down out of bumfuck nowhere and prayed.

But I guess even having faith has its price and that is to get your hopes crushed just when you think you're one step closer to the light.