The Phenomena of You & Me

seven | time travel

s e v e n

time travel — concept of movement between certain points in time

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FOR SOMEONE WHO wallows in the profound recesses of her fucked up life, the idea of rewinding time to alter your mistakes and possibly, choose better decisions sounded so appealing to me.

Perhaps, it was the only thing I was interested about Physics.

I had an entire list of all the errors and missteps I have ever committed.

But this was the worst of it all.

My pale lips was trembling as I pulled the plastic seat from his bed. I pulled my coat tighter in attempt to lessen the ceaseless pain forming from the bottom of my heart.

"West," I whispered, not even bothering to mask the pain as I took in the sight of him.

His eyes, a long haul from his usually twinkling chestnut-colored shade, were closed. His normally lips of a vibrant red shade were drowned in color. To his right side was a small screen, monitoring his slow, choppy heartbeats.

A tear dropped from my right eye. I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to. "Fuck, what have I done?"

"West, for fuck's sake, wake up. Damnit." More tears flowed from eyes, my voice rising a few notes higher.

"You told me. You told me you would fight for me till you're battered and bruised. Fuck, baby. Don't you dare leave me." I sobbed harder, a few hiccups released from my mouth.

"Y...you told me, West. You told me one day, you would see me march along the aisle to you and then you'd feel your heart clench in a sweet painful way as you look at me in my long white gown. Don't you dare break that promise to me. Please," I clenched my hand into a fist as I tried to keep my sobs at bay.

There and then, I wanted to travel faster than light.

You told me time travel will be possible if only one can travel faster than the rate at which light travels.

But fuck, with the amount of deaths and losses that surrounded me, how can I save your life?

I was a walking destruction, a tragedy.

If only I didn't end up sick, you wouldn't rush to reach me in the middle of the goddamn night with a McDonald's in the passenger seat.

If only I didn't answer your call.

If only I lied better and told you I was fine

If only, the stupid shithead of a driver was not fucking drunk.

If only...if only...if only

Truth was, I wanted to see you that night. Fuck, I craved the feeling of being taken care by you.

How funny that just because of one stupid sore throat, my entire world crashed and burned.

How funny that your love for me was what got you killed, just like how I predicted from the very fucking start.

You were left with bruises and wounds after breaking all my hard-built walls. So please tell me, how could I fight you when everytime I push away, you pull me right back in your arms.

You would always say, "you don't, baby. You let me hold you. So please do me the courtesy of letting me hold my world. Been a long night and I'm tired."

And so, for the first time, I let go.