Burned at Both Ends // Sequel

T W E N T Y S E V E N

Ricky's POV

"-I-I'm so sorry Rick... I know you wanted this..." She cried against my chest.

I'm in shock. Sadness washes over me. I feel like I can't breathe.

"I-I um I'm sorry too... Fuck... We'll get through this," I whimper.

I hug her tight as a few tears fall down my cheeks.

"Ms. McCarthy, Mr. Olson I'm so sorry for your loss," The doctor says giving us a sympathetic look.

I try to muster up a tiny smile but I couldn't.

"You'll be able to leave once we run tests to make sure nothing else happens,"

We nod as she whimpers holding onto me for dear life.

We agreed we were going to name her Allie. Allie Allen McCarthy.

I let more tears fall at the thought. I was suppose to be able to hold my baby girl in my arms, tell her I love her, spoil her, comfort her when she has nightmares, I was suppose to have my baby girl in my life.

But no. She had to be ripped away from me just around the time when Jessica was going to have her.

Jessica had a miscarriage.

"..Ricky?" Jessica asked, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Oh-yeah?" I say snapping out of my thoughts.

"I can leave now.." Jessica's voice soft and cracking.

"Ok, here let my help you," I offer, my voice hoarse.

She nods. I help her out of the hospital bed and I sign her out.

"So um, do you want to go home or stay to Cheyenne and I?" I break the silence.

"I think I want to be alone for a while.." Jessica cries.

I nod. We get to her house, she was about to get out before I grab her hand.

She turns to face me. Her make up is smudged.

"I hope you're okay, or will figure out some way to be okay again," I give her a slight sad smile.

She gives me this look telling me 'okay'. I kiss her forehead and let her go.

I watch her enter her house then I drive away.

I get home to find Cheyenne and Sam sleeping on the couch. The guys are talking in the kitchen.

I take my shoes off and grab a beer. I guess I'll just drown my sorrows and grief in alcohol.

"I'm sorry dude.." Ryan says softly.

"Do you want company? Your friends? Family?" Chris asks.

"I just want to be alone right now but thanks," I sigh.

They nod understandingly and leave the kitchen.

I was about to open the bottle when I hear her voice.

"Don't you dare open that beer, I'm not going to let you destroy yourself," Cheyenne says sternly.

Tears well up in my eyes. I turn around and face her, her face softens as I walk to her and engulf her in a tight hug as I cry my eyes out.

I really wanted this baby, even if it wasn't with Cheyenne.

"It isn't fair!" I cry.

I feel my insides die a little more minute by minute.

"Shhh, I don't know what you're going through, I can't imagine it, but I know one thing, you'll be okay, it's ok to cry, it's okay to be upset, but you'll get through this, your baby girl is in a better place now," Cheyenne says, sympathy in her voice.