Hold On

7

I slapped him hard on his right cheek. The hardness made his face turn as his had rose up and touched it. I was shaking with anger, he had no right to point a finger on my charachter when I hadn't nothing, but fulfilled the right of a wife, sister and daughter-in-law.

His eyes snapped to mine, shock evident in them. Far worse, I was staring at him in horror, but I had no regret behind that horror. Uesc it was rational and a very risky step, but it was only out of self defence and self-respect. I was never this demeaned by anyone, not even Zayn.

I only thought of Imdad as a brother, someone I had replaced Zayn with. Even though Zayn never looked up to me or called me his sister. Imdad always called me his sis, was always around and made life a little fun when she felt low, yes, it was only a little time I had known, but now I was his family and he was mine so there was no right that Dhirar to make a sacred relationship translate into something that disgusting.

"First, don't dare make this about being forced into a marriage, I'm in it just as much as you are, second, don't underestimate me into a helpless woman, I wont sit back and cry because my husband won't hear me out and make into the enemy, third don't dare ever disrespect something I hold dear to my hear," I took a deep breath and continued,"Imdad is like a brother to me, someone who puts a smile on my face and makes me want to live everyday in this house without worrying that I can keep up with you and this marriage," I backed away a little, stumbling as my head started to feel a little fuzzy.

"All I'm saying is, just work with me, I'm trying to make what we have work, we are married and there is no running away from it, what happened to your brother was neither mine or your fault, we are all victims of what happened and all I want is for us to try to move on and for you to at least try and make this work," I tried explaining it to him, but it was obvious he was too caught up in his own thoughts he hardly even heard a word I said.

I let out a huff and started walk towards our room door with the intention of leaving, my body shook with tension and hurt. I needed to clear my head and get away from home for a while, all this was a bit too overwhelming. My mind was having too many thoughts and all not too good in my books.

Before I could reach out of the door Dhirar's hand flew towards me and caught hold of my elbow, jerking me back at him. My eyes went straight up to his eyes meeting his glare. He wasn't the same guy I once saw joking around a few months back, this man was different, someone I hardly recognized.

"You're right, I said a bit more than I was supposed to, I'm sorry," he let go of my arm and rubbed his face with both his hands, immediately my gaze softened.

"I'm sorry I slapped you, I just felt a little bit too insulted and humiliated by your words, they hurt me a lot," I said softly.

"I know, I understand you," Dhirar looked at me, his eyes held sincere regret.

"Do you?"

"I do, I know what it feels like to be accused of something you have no idea about, especially when it is something you never expect," Dhirar explained.

"Well, it's good that you realized your mistake," I said with a small sad smile.

"Can I make it up to you?"

"How?"

"You can put your girly things back on my side of the room as well, just don't make it too girly alright?" He awkwardly tried to make it sound cool, but it came out as if he was choking on a very alive fly.

"Really?" I pressed, suddenly wanting to squeal like a girl.

"Yes, really," he grumbled and left the room before I could say anything more.

The rest of the evening went by fast and short, there was nothing fun about it, and to be more precise it was even a little awkward and annoying to some point. Whenever Dhirar and I crossed paths there was a buzz of weird electricity between us that made us both jump and want to run on the opposite side of each other. We were both negatives who just couldn't stop, but try to meet despite the large force in-between us that stopped us from getting closer. I know I needed to get rid of that force before our marriage fell apart, but you need two to tango. I felt my phone buzz in my jean pocket as my hand reached out to pull it out.

A smile folded on my face when I saw Tasneem's name flashing on the screen.

"Hello, beautiful roses, how's the newly married one doing," her voice beamed through the phone, I knew she was smiling.

"Hello, Lilly, what do I owe the pleasure of your call?" I say in a very posh accent.

"I was checking up on you, have adjusted properly with them?" She suddenly turned serious and I let out a fake laugh.

"I'm fine, really. Everything is settled, Dhirar is coming around and well the family was never bad," it was a white lie, but half of it was true.

"I hope so, just call if you need anything, okay. I'm always there for you no matter what," she consoled me, she knew by now, I was somewhat lying to her. Of course she did, she knew me too well.

"Thank you Tasneem, I really needed someone to talk to from home, how's everyone back there," I said with a sigh leaving my lips.

"Alhamdulillah, everyone is doing well, and you won't believe it Zayn is suddenly a very decent teenager," she laughed.

"Are you serious?" I asked, shock, covering my features.

"Yes, he's well behaved and well he treats your mum well too, you should come visit sometime, we miss you," I could hear the sadness in her voice.

"I will, inshallah. I still need to settle down a little more, I'm sure Dhirar wouldn't mine if I visit for a few days," I said, I knew I was giving her high hopes, but I didn't have a choice.

"Really, I'll have a big feast if you do, like old times," she squealed.

"Hey, I wanted to ask, did you clear out with Dhirar?" Crap, I totally forgot, but what could I do, there was too much in my plate already. If I added this information, it would be too hard to even come out of it or even explain.

"About,?" I feigned ignorance.

"You know Owais," she pressed.

"Oh, about Owais being my ex," I said with a fake laugh, and as I soon as I said it, Allah chose the very same moment to let Dhirar enter the room.

***

Ps: before everyone goes on asking why they call each other rose and Lilly, darlings its called nicknames so relax and enjoy!

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