Regrets

It's Now Or Never

1976

Even a month after Frank's death, Alexandra hadn't gone back to her old self. It was like she was on autopilot, and she had a daily routine: wake up, take a shower, maybe eat a little something for breakfast, go to work, go home, maybe have something for dinner, read a book or watch television, go to sleep, repeat; sometimes music would be in the mix there. She would go back and forth between sleeping in her own apartment and over at Raquel and David's house- this was more so for the sake that the married couple was worried about their friend and how she was doing.

After Frank was killed, it was almost like something in Alexandra had died. It was no secret that she was still in mourning- and it didn't really help that she naturally wore a lot of black clothing, even before his death- but she just wasn't the same Alexandra Katharine Conti everyone knew. She was always one of the happiest, cheeriest, loving, helpful people that ever walked on the face the earth. There wasn't a person who came in contact with her that didn't like her.

But that had begun to make a one-hundred and eighty degree turn for the worst.

Alexandra barely spoke to those around her, usually unless she was directly spoken to. She had obviously lost weight due to her lack of appetite. She rarely went out for please like she would nearly every day. Her work quality had begun to slowly- but surely- decrease. She never smiled or laughed anymore which is something she'd be doing every day.

She didn't radiate joy and happiness like she had practically her whole life.

It was as if something had completely taken over her and chose to remain there as long as it possibly could.

That something was grief and sorrow.

-/-/-

"Anything new 'bout that murder case up in New York last month?" Barney asked his friend curiously.

Tool shrugged a bit. "Not too much," he answered, "Not anything, really. It's like it just dropped off the face of the earth."

"Well, you said it was gang related, right?" Trench asked.

Tool nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"That's why it dropped off the face of the earth."

Trench Mauser: six feet two inches of pure Austrian blood. He had a strong- yet still understandable- thick accent when he spoke, making it obvious where he was from. He hadn't come to America until the year 1970. In the year 1971, he had to return to his home country to help take care of his aging parents until 1974, which would be the year he would return to America. He'd worked to become an American citizen as soon as he possibly could, which had been granted and become official only a month previous to the present time.

Barney and Tool had met Trench when he'd begun to try and gain his citizenship back in 1974. Since Barney had been born in Italy, he had to get his citizenship just like everybody else, it didn't matter in this case that he'd come to the country before he was even five years old. He'd gone with Tool to the department for some papers he needed, since his originals had been misplaced and never seen again. While waiting, they'd met Trench, who was struggling to read a bit of the English on the papers. The two had helped him, Barney being able to relate more to Trench than Tool since they were both born in countries outside of the United States. After that, the friendship between the three had formed not long after.

Barney gave a confused look. "What does that gotta do with anythin'?" he asked.

"If it was gang related, then it's a guarantee that it would disappear from the spotlight," Trench answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.