Regrets

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

1976

Alexandra held the few multiple sheets of paper in her trembling hands. She didn't have a clue as to what was hidden in the papers, but his will was at least in the mix of the papers. The papers crinkled in her hands, making little noises as she held them. She stared at the papers in fear, debating whether or not she should stick to her plans and read the papers.

"Ok," she said and let out a deep breath.

Alexandra pulled out the papers with Frank's handwriting on them, and began to read:

"Dear Ally-Kat,

First, I just want to apologize to you. I've known about what was going to happen for a while now. I chose not to tell because didn't want you to worry or to freak out. But most of all, I wanted to keep you safe. Sadly, this was the only way that I could keep you safe like I wanted. I'm sorry, Ally, I really am.

Before the wedding, Mike told me to call him. I did and he gave me my "last wishes", so to say. I chose twenty-four hours with you, and for them to leave you alone. For some reason, he said yes- which I'm not complaining about. At exactly twenty-four hours later, as far as I know right now, I'd be either dead or not far from it. Am I happy this is going to happen? Of course not. If I could, I'd do everything to prevent it from happening in any sort of way. Sadly, there was nothing I could do.

I didn't want for us to spend the rest of our lives running from these people. What kind of a life is that? You know that plans we had for once we got married: we'd move into a house, when we were ready we were going to adopt, and we were go to live our lives. I feel like I've taken that all away from you, but if things didn't go right, we'd be running for the rest of our lives. I had to make a choice: stay alive and run, which wouldn't be the life you deserved- or sacrifice myself, and let you lie your life. I chose to sacrifice myself."

Alexandra shut her eyes for a moment and let out a shaky breath. She felt tears begin to run down her cheeks and tried to wipe them away with her hand. She opened her eyes once more and looked back down at the letter, which now had a few wet dots on it from the tears that had ran down her cheeks and collided with the paper.

"I want you to live your life. I want you to move on. I know what you're thinking: how can you move one after all we've been through since high school? I'm going to be honest and tell you that I have no idea how you will, but I want you to try. I want you to move on and live your life, and don't mourn me for the rest of your life, like you nearly did for your father and our baby. You're young, you're beautiful, you're a great person- you can do it. I believe in you, and you have my approval.

Also, remember that none of this is your fault. These people have hated me and my family my entire life, and they got even angrier when they found out that I wanted out. They've hated my guts and have wanted me dead ever since the day I was born. Like I said, it has nothing to do with you or anything you might think you did.

Again, I'm so sorry, Ally. I wish there was some other way. I hope that you'll forgive me for choosing the option I did. I hope you cherish our time together as much as I did and do. I'm so grateful to have had you in my life since high school. Thank you for all these wonderful years. I love you, my sweet Alley-Kat.

Love, Francesco 'Frank' Angelo Razzano"

Alexandra let out another shaky breath as she set the letter down. She stared at the blank television screen, not paying attention to the music playing from her record player. She raised her left hand to her mouth, and began to chew nervously on her thumb nail. She looked over at the digital clock next to the television, which read that it was 12:38 in the morning. She wondered how long she'd sat just staring at the letter, considering she'd picked it up nearly an hour previous to the present time.