Regrets

Nothing Is Easy

1976.

Alexandra really didn't want to tell Tool anything. In her opinion, it was none of his damn business what her problem was! Granted, she did want to talk about it all with someone, but she preferred to talk with someone who she'd met and known for a while at this point- not someone she had just met the day previous to the present. She just considered it a bit strange. While she did appreciate how the man was extremely hospitable to her, and how he wanted to talk to her, she just felt a bit about unloading her problems on a man she'd known for, at most, twenty-four hours.

But she had already agreed that she would tell him.

"Where do you want me to start?" Alexandra asked hesitantly and in a soft tone of voice.

"Why don't you like to talk about your husband?" Tool answered her question with a question of his own.

She looked down at the wedding ring that she still wear on her left ringer and twisted it around her finger a bit using her right hand. "Cause he's dead..."

He was silent for a moment. "How'd he die?"

"He was shot. He was from a mafia family, but he wanted to break away from that. His family was just fine with that, but another one wasn't."

"They're the one's who killed him, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah..."

"When did it happen?" Tool asked softly, as not to upset her any more than he knew their conversation as a whole would.

"March," Alexandra answered, not looking up at him, "March 14, just this past spring. Twenty-four hours after our wedding, actually."

That was right around when Adriana was born, he thought in sudden realization, she's the widow from New York. That's why she freaked out about Adriana. Tool didn't know what to say. Quite honestly, he was shocked that she had actually let him into the room. Once he had gotten into the bathroom in his home, he was determined to try and comfort her. He wanted to make sure she was alright, and to see what was really bothering her. He wasn't being nosy, he just wanted to be there for her. He wanted her trust, especially with them both becoming mercenaries- you had to trust someone, right? But he was absolutely shocked at how much she was trusting him to tell him all of this already. He was afraid for her to find out what else had happened in her life that made her the way she was.

"I'm sorry," Tool said gently and quietly; it was all he could think of to say.

"Can you believe it's only one of the top three worst things that's happened to me?" Alexandra asked, letting out a dry and humorless laugh, her voice even beginning to shake a bit.

"How old are you again?"

"Twenty-four, turning twenty-five this fall."

"Should I ask? Or is it none of my business?"

She shrugged. "If you want, I can tell you."

"I just hope you don't think I'm tryin' to be nosy or something."

"No, I don't."

Alexandra actually didn't really mind telling Tool all of this. It actually felt kind of nice to her to get all of these things out of her system after so long. She'd never really been open to discussing any of things with her best friend, or even her brother, cause she knew the two of them would tip toe around her and try to act like everything was alright- but for some reason, Tool wasn't doing that to her. They'd only known one another for around twenty-four hours, but she could tell that she'd be good friends with him as they got to know each other. He didn't screw around, and he was easy to talk to. It felt nice to her to have someone to talk to again who wouldn't act like everything was ok, when it clearly wasn't.