Sam
No one wants to take care of a messed up child! Which is what has earned me so much sympathy over the years, I am the messed up child I have been suffering of anxiety, depression, PTSD and insomnia since the accident. The accident in which I lost two people that I deeply love, my family.
Everytime I go to sleep I can see it so cleary as if I am still there in the car, the lights, the breaks, the crash, their bodies. Everytime I get a slight panic attack but I can control it mostly if I can't I would just go running. Which is what happened tonight, I saw it all yet again when suddently familiar thoughts start to invade my mind, I try to control them but I can't,not tonight. I put on my running shoes, and leave the house I run and I run but it is all for nothing anxiety is pumping through my body and I cannot flush it out I cannot be numb to it I cannot do it not today, the thoughts had turned into voices which were not fading. They were only getting stronger with every stride, I run my usual path but today my legs are in control I try my best to avoid it, to redirect my route but my feet were moving as if they had a mind of their own. It will do no good, killing myself will only put the pain on someone else and that is not fair I was the cursed one and I will not put this curse on any one else. But it is all for nothing my legs sway me towards the bridge which overlooks the river which divides the town into two. The bridge was never a problem before but today the voices are screeching at me to stop on the bridge and jump.
Leg after leg I go over the legde. I am still holding on all I need to do is let go by this time there is a war in my head; should I let go? is this my escape? is this all there is to it?Just as I made my decision some one caught my waist and held me so tight that I could not budge. Who ever is holding me carefully turns me around so that I am facing him. He is a guy about 20 years old at least he looks so. I do not recognise him but he is concerned, I can see it in his eyes, it is not pity or sympathy it is pure concern masked with something else. His eyes look like he has seen it all before as if he is reliving a ghost of his past. He slowly begins to talk but little does he know that his words are all in vain as all I can hear is my adrenaline and anxiety buzzing through my body. Until all of a sudden everything falls silent and I hear him say "Every one has a destiny. Find yours!" This made me rethink my life choices maybe I was not a mistake after all, maybe I am not that messed up, may be I am not a screw up.
All of a sudden his hands released the grip he had on me and carefully told me that he cannot force me to do anything that he cannot control my choice or my next move. But now it was my time to choose if I will pursuit my destiny or let it die with me, I must choose now and must choose wisely. This decision that I was faced with was the worst, it is the most difficult decision that I ever had to make and now I really hope I do not live to regret it.
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Hi we are going to try and update every 2 weeks I hope you enjoy it ...
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Life as it goes...
RandomHi this is a story which as the title implies is going to change as life goes on. It is written in collaboration between two people and the chapters are in response to one another. Also I would like to add taht since the chapters are in response to...
