Diary

27th May 2016

Well I guess today was okay. I managed to get out of a few lessons and started talking to an old friend again.

It was Michaels birthday today. We were supposed to get drunk but his house was messy so we are tomorrow I guess. I don't mind the wait. It's worth it.

I think I might also be getting my first chest binder tomorrow which will be exciting.

I broke up from school today also. Only for a week but it's a week of no alarms and no uniform but it's also a week in the house with my parents. I love my parents of course I do. But it seems like they have forgotten about the fact I came out as trans. It's not like they're transphobic as they were quick to accept my cousin when he came out, I just want to know why they can't accept me if they can accept him. I mean, I don't mind slip ups obviously they aren't intended, but they do it on purpose and that's a problem. I want to talk to them about it though because they might get upset or angry with me. I've been thinking and mulling it over for ages so it's not as if I just had a single thought about it and was like "I'm boy as fuck now". Even if it is just a phase like it is with some people it would be nice if they still respected it. I'm rambling I guess.

It just annoys me.

My arm aches because of all my exams this week. The first question on my poetry paper was "how does the poet present their childhood fascination with snakes in the poem" and I was almost crying due to laughter.

Connor found out about my new hobby. I feel terrible because I know he just going to worry and blame himself for it even though it has nothing to do with him. I hope he doesn't tell anyone. If he does I'll kill him. I didn't mean to tell him. He tricked me into saying it. He wants me to stop. But I know I won't. It's not that I can't it's more that I don't want to. I enjoy it. He enjoys drawing and designing things, I like watching my skin part and watch the blood ooze up in little beads and spill over.