Crystal

Chapter 1: Starting Over

      I put my box of books in my trunk. The movers drove off fifteen minutes ago so they'll arrive before I do. I gave them the spare key to place the boxes inside. I didn't care if it made it harder for me. I just wanted to get this over with.

 I lit my cigarette and got in the car, put my iPod on shuffle and let the music blast as loud as it can before the bass could mess up the sound. I wanted to make sure I had no thoughts about what I was about to do to distract me. I had to keep my mind on the road.

   It was a three hour drive. I didn’t take the time to contemplate on what I was doing. In fact I wanted to have absolutely no thoughts roaming my mind. But of course it was difficult. I was feeling furious, aggravated, frustrated, and tired. Most of all, tired. It’s been hell the past few weeks. I have been called selfish, cold, and rarely, decent. I guess the decent part came into when it was explained what I will be doing today. But then of course that one compliment would fade after people started thinking about how weird it was. How weird I am. Because in their eyes, this was my decision. No one would explain that I had to be begged to do this, which is where I guess the “cold” part came in.

  According to my GPS I had about eighteen minutes left before I would get to the house. I was in the town of Winchester now, my new home. I have only come here once to visit Leza and never really noticed the surroundings. Of course it was a better time then, and I was just happy to becoming to visit. The streets were depressing. Driving past each block I noticed flyers posted on trees and windows, and once I stopped at a red light I noticed the flyers were Missing People posters. They were posted everywhere, some flyers blowing in the wind on the streets. There wasn't anyone in the road. Granted it was 7:51 pm but still. Apartment buildings I drove by weren't scary looking but the fact that most of the lights were out in there as well felt a little creepy.

As I continued on leaving the city part of the town behind, I drove into the neighborhood and was nearly there. It was a nice suburban area with the houses going in an order of colors blue and yellow and white. There were flowers in every front yard. However in the dark it didn't look as pleasant as it sounds. Everything was dark, and there was eerie feeling in the air when you drove by the houses. Lights weren't even on. It looked as if had it been a bright day, the houses would have a nice colorful look about them that would make Tim Burton wanna use this area for a film spot. Although, it wasn’t too far off to fit a dark eerie movie of his since it already had that gloomy look about it once the sun was gone.

   "You are now reaching your destination." My gps loudly announced. I drove up to the driveway of a two story yellow house. Although it had two floors it was still quite small. But it was good enough for one person to live in. Leza was in love with it. The mover’s truck drove off as I pulled in so they might have already been done. As I grabbed the box from my trunk, I walked up to the front steps and placed it down so I can open door. The movers placed all my boxes neatly in the middle. I grabbed the box I brought with me and just placed it on top of another box. I stared at the boxes in aggravation not because of the painful ordeal of unpacking but because of the fact I was standing in this house. Thank you mother.

   "If you don't take the house then they will sell it. You know how hard it was for her to put that work in!" My mother yelled on the phone.

"It's not my problem I have a life here!" I shouted. I can hear her whimper when I said those words. I didn't mean it. I didn't want her to cry. I didn't want myself to cry. I didn't want this reality to sink in.

"Please Crystal; you know I can't do this!" My mother begged. She was staying on the other side of the country with my father who was suffering from MS.

   "Mom, don't make me do this."

 But she did. She made me feel horrible. She made me feel like I caused this. As if I was the one who killed Leza. Her smiling face entered my mind briefly but then I started to think about the day my mother called me. I arrived at her house the next morning to comfort my family but was greeted by more details of her murder. I couldn’t take it then. I had stormed out of the house and tried to calm my mind by sitting in my car for hours. It still had not felt real then, and it’s barely feels real now. I couldn’t let the details of that horrible moment could enter my mind now so I quickly shook those thoughts out of my head.

No, I had to get this out of my mind. The more I had thought about Leza, the angrier I became, the more I regretted the decision to move here. I was feeling pretty tired so I decided to unpack the next morning. I walked upstairs and opened the door to her room. It was girly. Pink walls, bright pastel blue bed, matching curtains, white vanity table, white dresser,  a few of her drawings framed. There was a photo of us on the bookshelf with all her Stephen King and Holly Black novels.

I smiled when I looked around. She really was the girly sister. We had shared bedrooms until we were teenagers, and always it had been my dark side of the room next to her bright, princess looking side. Mom didn’t really enjoy my choice in dark clothes, or the fact that I had a taste for heavy rock bands, or 70s to 80s thrash metal, and definitely didn’t enjoy that I started to pick up a sinister sense of humor that also involved gritty sarcasm from time to time. No, mom didn’t like any of it. Did she despise me? No. She just happened to favor Leza a little bit more. But thankfully, it’s not that kind of story where two sisters are put against each other by the love or hate of their mother. I didn’t care what my mother thought about me. I didn’t hate her, I just didn’t really care that she didn’t enjoy too much of my company. And Leza never rubbed it in that mom had a cheerful energy towards her more. In fact, I don’t really think that Leza cared either. We were close, and we were best friends. That’s what tears me up about this so much. I didn’t just lose a sister; I lost a part of me that no matter how hard I try, I could never fill up that hole that was created in my heart.