Crystal

Chapter 17: The warning of the Doppelganger

            There are people who take the time out to grieve a loss of a loved one. For some it takes months, years even. Those people are given sympathy for a while until it starts to get old. They get irritated with the mourners and grow weary of their crying and moping, usually calling them out for attention. Maybe it’s because those outside new nothing about the deceased so it’s easier for them to forget the tragedy. My mother would fall into that category. She will mourn my sister until her own death.

            Then, there are people who grieve very little, maybe not much at all; usually maybe a few weeks, or a few days. These people are often criticized for lack of emotion. They get the family’s harsh words and called “cruel” and accused of not caring about the deceased at all. Then people begin to view them as heartless and cold. That they couldn’t grieve enough for their loss and they will end up living as a person with no remorse for any actions. I fell into this category.

            I could care less of what my family thinks, even my mother. But they were wrong. I had emotions, I had feelings, I cared. I do care. I loved my sister more than anyone could ever love her. When she died, it tore my apart; I felt my heart ripping to pieces. It broke me, and I tried to fix myself as fast as I could. I cried for that day, but the next morning I woke up the tears had stopped. I just wouldn’t let myself fall apart anymore. Did it mean I was cold? I didn’t think so. I wanted to be strong for myself and for my family even though it backfired.

            Months of trying to keep myself together started to take a toll on me. Then I entered this place, this stupid town, this house. I never believed in a heaven or a hell. I never believed in ghosts. Not even as a kid. And here I am, being tormented by some fucking demon, the same demon that supposedly tore my sister into pieces.

            I sat on the bottom step inside Leza’s house smoking a cigarette. The living room was still a little wrecked from my dead sister sucking a piece of the demon out of my body. A sentence I never thought I would fucking say. Pieces of glass were around the steps since it’s where I knocked over a frame and a vase. I caught my reflection in a large piece. Tear stains on my cheeks that rubbed with my eyeliner. I wonder how long that’s been like that. I looked away, not really caring to see the rest of my disgruntled appearance.

            Part of me still hopes this is a nightmare. One of those real vivid ones that feels like its an eternity in hell, and every few moments you’re sure you’re gonna die and you feel every bit of pain you endure in this nightmare. But then you wake up, and it all starts to fade from your mind and you begin to laugh in relief and go about your day. I’ve been hoping I will wake up soon. That I will get up, go to my studio to work, maybe have a few beers with my friends after, give Leza a call before I go to bed.

            But let’s face it; anytime you pray you’re in a nightmare, it’s never a nightmare. It’s all real. And I am out of ideas.

            Rob and I didn’t have much to say about what happened. He had tried to comfort me in the car, and again when got to the house. But there was nothing he can do. What can he do? What would you do?

            I had told him to go home and I would meet him there. He protested hard but I still made him. I told him I was gonna be alright and just needed a moment to myself. I got up and stomped on the cigarette. Fuck this house. The kitchen light flickered in the corner of my eye. I started laughing.

            “Go ahead. You wanna tear me apart like the rest of them? Like those kids, like my sister? Fine. After all, what can I do?” I laughed some more. “Just fucking do it.” I stood there in the living room facing the kitchen. The light in the kitchen went out altogether. My body tensed up. But I didn’t move. Not because I was paralyzed with fear, but because I was curious. Calling it out, was that all it took to just make it come, make it kill me, so maybe I can wake up?

            I must have stood there facing the kitchen for 5 minutes. Nothing was happening. The light didn’t go back on. They didn’t even flicker at all. Now I was mad. This thing toyed with me. Beverly said it had plans for me. I’m not some fucking play thing for anyone, or anything. I won’t give it the satisfaction of being afraid. I yelled “JUST FUCKING DO IT! YOU COWARD!” 

This time all the lights in the house went out. I heard a glass on the floor break as if it was stepped on.  In seconds, I felt cold air on the back of my neck. Then a long, cold finger glided up my arm. I quickly turned and swung my arm. I kept swinging them trying to hit anything that was near me. But I didn’t feel anything. I knew I was facing the same direction where it was breathing on me, and I know I would’ve hit it. But it wasn’t there. Nothing was there. The lights turned back on.  I stopped swinging my arms. No one was here.

“Mother fucker.” I mumbled. I quickly walked to the door and headed to Robs.

It wasn’t really pleasant at Robs. I walked in, and just went straight to the couch and turned on a movie. He seemed to go with it and grabbed us a few beers. He tried to get close. He tried putting his arm around me to pull me into him but I barely responded. It must have felt like I was a zombie all over again. I felt like shit but I just couldn’t function. My life wasn’t at my control and it was killing me that there wasn’t much I could do about it.

After a about an hour, Rob started falling asleep on me. I let him drift off and I slowly got up from the couch, trying not to wake him. I walked over to his kitchen and grabbed another beer from the refrigerator. The window in his kitchen over looks Leza’s house from the side. I can see the windows into the living room, kitchen and the upstairs bedroom. Leza’s bedroom and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of it. It was, dark but I felt something looking at me from the window. I couldn’t see anything. Not even a shadow. But I felt it. It wasn’t one of those moments when your mind is playing tricks on you. At this point, I’m fully aware it’s never my mind playing tricks on me. Rob made a moan sound and I looked over at him. He was turning over into the couch, still asleep.

When I looked back at the window, I almost dropped my beer. For a brief second, I saw Rob. It was him standing at the window. But it was only a second. My heart started pounding faster; I couldn’t believe what I saw. His doppelganger quickly disappeared.  I looked back over at the couch. Rob was still there sleeping. Looking back at the window, I didn’t see anything. But I still had that uneasy feeling. I slowly walked over to the couch. Rob’s back was facing me, he was breathing slowly. I placed my beer quietly on the coffee table and continued towards Rob. I don’t know what I’m expecting. If what I saw in Leza’s room was actually Rob, who is on the couch? But maybe this is Rob, and there’s just something in Leza’s house. I don’t know. But whatever this fucking demon is, he found a whole new way to fuck with me. I placed my hand softly on Rob’s shoulder.

            His body violently jerked and I fell back screaming. He turned over and sat up. “What? What happened?” His eyes were wide and he was looking around the room, as if I woke him up out of fear for my life or something.

            This was Rob. It was only my Rob. My heart was beating normal again, and I was calming down. I had to laugh a little bit.

            “Nothing. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

           He got up and walked over to me and helped me stand up. I wrapped my arms around him tight and he embraced me. Part of me was happy that for a moment, I did feel normal again holding on to my boyfriend. But then the other part of me was horrified. What the fuck did I see in Leza’s room?